Soaking wet and bubbling!

It was the usual busy morning, 7.40 AM I was running to catch my carpool. . The moment I stepped outside, I was pleasantly surprised. There was no sun. There was a cool breeze. It was cloudy, dark skies. I should have worried if it would rain, I had no umbrella, but today I was not. My cell phone beeped. More bad news, my car pool friend on leave. Now I have to take a motorbike, a bus and an auto to reach office! 3 modes of transport, probably 90 mins of travel.

I had all the reasons to be grumpy. ( I was cranky at home, and dint even talk to Sathish this morning) But things changed, in a second. I was happy. I was excited. The wind blowing made me happy and I started thanking God singing, ‘Thank you Lord for such a beautiful day, reminds me of the love you gave to me, I wanna reflect your love to the people that I meet, today!’ Everyone on the road was in a hurry ( afraid it would pour- coz it was really dark lowlying clouds!) But I was smiling, I was relaxed, and going pretty slow, enjoying the ride. I said, I don’t wanna miss this beautiful weather! The wind was ghostly. It pushed all the mud and dirt in the air. I couldn’t open my eyes to clearly to see the road. I had sand in my eyes. But still I was singing. ( It got me wondering, what got into me!)

It started pouring half way through. I was wet. Soaking wet. Our roads need just a 5 mins constant rain to have puddles all over the road. It was muddy water. I had to leave my vehicle, jump the puddles and wade through dirty water to catch the bus. God sent a good bus at the right time. I was happy to get a seat. But only to find the seat was wet too. My hair was so wet, my clothes were wet, and my heart was bubbling.

Now I know no matter what, God can give you the best attitude, to give thanks in all circumstances for that is God’s will for me in Christ Jesus. I also know, that my mood affects others. People at home, people at work. If I am happy, it reflects. If I am sad, it shows. If I am angry, it blows. If I am bubbly, it overflows! So its all me now. What I choose to be in Christ!

Bubble!

Ever felt like walking inside a bubble.? The reality doesn't sink in? Looking back, I have felt that many times in my life. But here are the most important that I remember.

Two years back, when mom was sick, I was active, responsible and strong. 3 Characters which I never had. I was doing things which I would never do. After mom's death I was still in a bubble. Unhurt, unsinged, brave.

I felt I was in a bubble again at the altar with Sathish. For a brief moment, I took a step back, and thought what on earth am I doing?' Marrying a stranger, a huge leap of faith. Is this for real? Reality dint strike, with all the hype on makeup, the attire, the camera, the family, friends... But I knew it was in the bubble.

21st Sept should have been etched in my heart. But thanks to my memory I forgot. It was my mom's 2nd death anniversary, and we were at the same hospital, the same day for Sathish. He had terrible stomach pain and was vomitting the whole day. We admitted him for the night. I was not troubled. I realised I was inside the bubble once again.

The bubble is the term am using for the protection I have, like that of the soap advertisement, where you are covered completely, and no amount of dirt can touch you. It is the safe haven amidst the trouble. I am glad, I have been inside one all my 3 decades of life. Safe and sound in the weird wide world. Covered and protected by the blood of Christ.

Luke 13:34 'as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings'.

The heart to write...

Sometimes.. just sometimes you feel like writing... you have so much, that you have to write it down. The thoughts just flow and flow, no matter what you do, you feel energised to write, that you just grab a notepad and type, or type directly as blog.

I disliked the way fb status said 'What is on your mind?' What does it think it is? Poking into private minds.. and yes, definitely many of my friends, me included gave in and wrote what was on our minds. So it is a weird state of mind, that wants to spit everything out..even though on fb something may be completely irrevelant.

Writing blogs is interesting. I write for myself. None of my brothers, or anyone in my family read my stuff. ( I guess that's good, coz I can write whatever I want!) I have made good blog friends, those I have not even met. It does feel good. But there are lean times, when you don't feel like writing. But I take heart in the fact, coz, when I do, I can't stop! I remember getting up at night, turning on the laptop to post something. When mom was sleeping next to me, I remember scribbling in the dark on a paper. I call that as my writing spree!

Yippeee am on one now. Linking blog with facebook.. not sure how good that is.. coz now, many of my friends get to read and comment.. So I guess that's good :)

I thank you Lord, I feel so good, for every single cell in my body is fine!

Flexible??

I thought I was quite flexible type.. You know what I mean. Can adjust to things, new environment, new people. And of course food, weather, lifestyle. To add to my pride, many of friends, entertained the same idea. Oh you, beulah, you can manage! But am I really?


We were in a store, getting kitchen stuff, when I was insisting on getting a particular kind of dish( vessel) for milk, spoon, glass. Sathish would pick one, and I would say, No NO! NOT that, lets take this one. He would have an enquiring look as to ‘Why?’, and I would reply that’s the way we had it at home! I realized, how picky I was when we left the store. I had a bag full of stuff - MY way! And what was I so particular about?? A spoon? Where is my experimental, adjusting brain??

It continued in the cooking too. Sathish loves cooking, and for someone who hates it AND demands her own way, it is really bad to consider herself 'the queen of the kitchen'. Sathish kept a distance. I cooked my mom’s way. It was always 'We did it this way....My mom taught me this way.... We used it like this only'.

I wonder where my flexibility had gone!

Why not rather be wronged? I Corinthians 6: 7

The ultimate test!

While finishing school, I was just happy, I won’t have Quarterly, Halfyearly, Annual exams. But College was a different story. So while finishing College, I was just too happy no more Semester exams, and resolved not to go for any higher studies. So no more test, no more exams.

Well, I was terribly wrong! At work today, we have to take 2 certifications every year. You have to clear them, or your promotion, hike are questionable. Its been 4 years in this company, and God has been graceful to help me complete each year.

I also thought I was doing good.. Till last month. The ultimate test. Whatever you learnt, read, taught, wrote(in blog!), thought, well it’s all put to test every day. EVERY SINGLE DAY! It feels like, God said, Oh yes, I know you are good and want to be good, and you have been good at it so far. Now is the time to put it to the ultimate test! I can’t wait to clear this every day! (there is no escape!)

Roller coaster!

I love the rollercoaster. I have friends, who at the sight of it, cringe back and say a big NO. Last ride I went on my own, was at a huge theme park. 4 of my friends stayed back. I went alone, and was dying to go back again. :P

Yes, the safety is questionable. Imagine one of the bolt gives away and u fly away! ZOOM and a THUD, CRASH, BOOM! Haha.. Sounds funny. On a serious note, I agree rollercoaster are one of the wild rides. Just the look of it, and the noise makes yr adrenalin pump, and your guts wrench.. But I guess that’s the thrill of it.

Oh life has become a roller coaster. You go zooooooom, zip, splash, and a wroooom,whoosh, zoooooom. Unexpected, exciting, thrilling, scary, weird, head spinning, adrenalin pumping, stomach churning, mind boggling… Oh boy this phase is weird.. It’s bad that nobody tells you what's involved.. and you have to go through it on your own to know it all! Its definitely not the old cozy spot! But new and different in everyway.

I have one big consolation, that I know the manufacturer of the rollarcoaster, the faithful one who put me on it the first place! So I just have to relax and enjoy the new ride!

Discovery!

The best person to know all about me, is me! - This is what I had always thought. But past week has been a revelation of I, me, myself. Stranger still, it takes another person to discover the real me.

Chapter 2 has been different in every way. I had thought, it would be little different, but never thought that it will be a 180 turn in every way. Spiritually, emotionaly, physically, and mentally. Chapter 2 is different, way too different from Chapter 1. Apart from discovering each day more about me and Meulah, there has been lot to life, which I had been utterly unaware of all these years.


Its been a secret. Yes, a profound mystery. Definitely, indeed! In every way! I know there is more ahead. But one thing is for sure, God who made my Chapter 1 exciting and adventurous is going to be with me in Chapter 2. Though it is little scary, I think with faith I can say, ' I am game'.

Dove tail joint!

We had a class in carpentry during Engineering and one of the joints we did was Dove tail joint. This joint is little complex and demands utmost precision. Both the wooden parts are pretty different. Infact they are completely different. But they have to be so, to make a strong joint.

Past few weeks, I was reminded of it along with a story I had read some 10- 15 years back ( in Guidepost!) . A lady was preparing to stitch a blouse, and was cutting the cloth into pieces for the arms. She was pondering in her heart why she and her spouse were so different from each other. She was so lost in thought, that she realised a little too late, that she had cut the left and right arms of the blouse as the same left side. Now those two pieces were completely useless and were unfit for the blouse. God taught her that day, that only 2 different - left/right arms of a cloth can make a blouse!


A dear friend of mine, commented once, that her spouse was custom made for her. Intrigued, I had asked what that meant as hers was a forced marriage, without her consent. She replied, God is good all the time, and he is in complete control of all his children's life, and that her spouse has been the kind that she had prayed for.

I am so glad, that God has full control of our life, and that though different as each block of the dove tail, he ensures it is a custom made joint. Strong and perfect for each other- specially and uniquely built by the master carpenter.

Yoked!

They talked about yoke at church. I have never seen a yoke closely( I guess). So here's the google version.






Yoke is heavy, hard and difficult to have around your neck! Imagine being tied to something like that. But in reality, we do have lot of things tied up in our minds. Worry, fear, anger, addiction, money, control, fame, power. Something that is tied so hard, that it actually takes a toll on us. They tie 2 bulls to the yoke. Mostly- 1 strong and the other weak, or 1 experienced and other new. The stronger experienced bull, leads and guides the way and the weaker one follows and learns.


In our life, we either have cares of this world, or God as our yoke. If we have cares of this world, they sure get stronger and lead u astray. But if we have God, he took away the worry, pain, all the sin, punishment on himself, and now the burden is on him, that the yoke he gives is easy and light.




All we have to do, is have his yoke, and follow him. A faith walk, without sins or burdens. and what do we get, the bible says, we are 'Holy' , ' Righteous', filled with fullness of Christ'. Isn't it too big a title for me!
I hope I don't get bull headed and pull to my own way!

Are you yoked? btw, to what/whom? What's pressing you now?

Matthew 11:28-30
28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

The book I love!

Name a kid, who doesn't love comics? That's how I started my first Bible. It was a picture bible, with pictures and dialogues in comics style. I loved that Bible, read it from cover to cover. Even now, the images or visuals of many of the characters or stories in my mind, are those from that Bible.Dad was working on a picture bible for tribals, without any language so he had collected lot of picture bible for his drawing reference. So my next bible was a LARGE Children's Bible. That was the age, when my favorite books were Hardy boys, Nancy Drew and Enid Blytons. The children bible fonts were huge just like the story books, that I read them like a story! ( I was probably 9 or 10 )

Looking at the way, I was reading the Bible, my mom and dad gave me a Gideon's Bible to read. I found it very hard to understand. The language, the font, the format were all so different from the Bible I loved. To make it worse I dint understand a thing. So my mom told me to read the Tamil bible parallely.

It was this time, that I made a friend with a book lover. We exchanged Hardy boys, Nancy Drew. She was a voracious reader. She would finish the book in an hour, whereas I would take 3 hours. We decided to read the bible togethar, and boy oh boy it was fun. We finished completely in English ( KJV) and Tamil, again and again may be 10 or more times, that we lost count. To tell the truth I don't think, if I really understood the meaning, I read it like a story book. Enjoyed the History books; gospels, dragged through the prophets, skim read the epistles perhaps. But it was fun to read togethar. Many words in both Tamil and English bounced off my head, but I just wanted to finish reading the whole bible, from beginning to end.

Then dad bought me a study Bible and my brother a Student's bible. I loved it at first sight. There was no columns like a traditional bible, the font was big. Moreover the language was very simple- the story book kind. I understood the meaning, I enjoyed reading it, I underlined,took notes. I woke up at 4 everyday, and spent time with God. I was young, probably 12-14, and that's when I started having a personal relationship with God, and learnt the power of the cross, about HolySpirit, about God's love. During family prayer, me and brother asked a lot of questions to dad. What this means, why so, how did it happen. Hearing and then reading from the Bible, was an amazing feeling. I then moved on to a 1 year bible, and then I often got back to my big old study bible. It is so bulgy, and old, with lines all over the pages! But I love it! Its been more than 10-15 years since I used it, but still get back to it to find some verses, coz I know which page, which side, and what color pen i had used to underline a particular verse! My favorite verse was Gal 6:14 and my favorite book was James!

My friend introduced me to Philip Yancey's book. Oh, how I loved them. By then, my mom had restricted me from reading all novels ( it was school exam time) So I stuck to only Bible and a little of Christian books. In college, my craze was on John Grisham's book, but when I realised my QT was reducing, I decided to stop reading all novels until I bring my QT steady. The same rule applied for any spiritual book. So these days, only when my QT is full and overflowing, I read any other Christian books/magazines! Works well for me!