Misjudgement

Its been awhile, and I have never felt so clumsy before. When I open the door, so often, I hit my belly against it. So do I when I move my chair closer to the dining table. Oops, there is my belly and my baby.

My growing belly, comes against anything normal, and I keep felling clumsy over the edges! Getting onto the bed has been tough, and so has getting out been.  I am told that the baby is LOA one week and then she turns ROT. So I try not to turn in bed, but my whole left side aches, head, ears, neck, shoulders,arms, torso, thighs and legs. So I turn and I literaly have to hold/carry the belly and lay it on the side. I know the baby is in. Isn't it strange.. a baby inside my belly.. of all the places.. and he/she is growing.. and i can feel and see it move around..

The movements have been less, but they are there for sure! :)

Timing!

A friend quoted her pastor saying that 3 things were unpredictable. 1. The birth of a baby, 2. The timing of a thief at night. 3. Coming of Jesus Christ.  Well, the second and third are agreeable, but I was quite taken back with the first one.  Isn't it the EDD, good enough? Not quite.  Anytime is unpredictable, with everyone's expectation on an increasing note, it is quite hard to keep myself tucked in :)

Its all upto the baby. The baby's head had turned. My belly has been its biggest size. The baby is full grown, the doctor said on Nov 30th, and she can be out anytime. But yet, the baby is determined to stay inside. Snuggle inside the dark and wait to come out.  The verse ' you took me out of my mother's womb' reminds me, that God has his own timing to bring the baby out. So we just wait.

oh when?

December baby or January Baby? Boy or a girl? Christmas release or New year release? 2012 or 2013?Each day, there had been lot of anticipation... Phone calls coming in, were not to wish for Christmas or new year, but to find out how I was doing, and if the baby is born yet.
The last week of December 2012, were more anxiety packed. Friends and family made sure,they called regularly to get baby update.  My mom's friends called daily. My aunts called.  I know, most of my friends remembered and prayed.
How did I feel? I was happy to carry her around in my belly. More safe and comfortable, I had got myself to.  I did want to see the baby, but I did wonder, if I will be able to go to church on Christmas or New Year- both of which I did! :)
and so she waited. Waited to be January baby. Waited to be 2012. A beautiful girl! Thank you Lord!

Different

Its been quite an experience from the beginning.  More so, towards the end.  Lot of self discoveries, surprises, just leaves me amazed at how it has come through so far.

And this December, has been the limelight. Christmas has been different. Each day with a newer expectation, of not knowing 'when' or 'how' has been exceedingly interesting. Everyone is eager and ready at home. Each phone calls, are more about the baby than the seasonal greetings.

You normally don't plan to be in a hospital ever in your life... and hence this has been quite different.. Any time now, I can go to the hospital.. I would have to stay 3- 5 days or more.  All the injection, the hospital bed, the pillows, the IV, the hospital gown. Looking forward to that-? definitely is strange.. But yes, am looking forward to see the alien, wriggling in my stomach for so long.. can't wait to see his/her eyes, touch the fingers, toes, and rub its nose with mine..

Am not looking forward, for sleepless nights, the pain, or the tiredness..  My 11 mth old niece wakes up at 4 AM everyday, and makes sure, everyone is up in the house.. Good bye to late morning sleeps, Good bye to do your own things. Good bye, to your own self. Good bye, to your plans, Good bye to your schedules. Someone else runs the household :)

Oh this is going to be a different Chapter 4!!

Stitching...

I remember a lil dress my mom showed me.  She said, she stitched it, when I was inside her womb. She had been eagerly waiting for a girl child.  The first 3 had been boys, and she wanted a girl badly.   My birth had been  magical. Dad named me before my birth. I was a promise from God, that Indians would follow Christ. Isaiah 62:4.

He even went to the extent of annoucing the birth, when I was just 2 mths inside my mom.  No one knew, mom was pregnant, and it was so embarrasing for mom, for dad announced it to a crowd of hundreds - an annual meeting at his workplace and moreover Mom was 40 then.  She was too old to be pregnant.. I can imagine how it would have been.

But she loved me.. she trusted that it was girl, just like my dad and she made me a pretty embroidered skirt, which I still have and have worn it on my doll :)

Well, I wanted to try one for my baby. My mom would be pleased.  Mom's best friend, she is 80 yrs old, has sent today a parcel of handstictched clothes for my baby. It was such a beautiful surprise. What my mom would have done, she had done.  She even left some paints and threads so that I can try my own. and by am I excited!  This is so interesting!

Left side

For reasons, not good for blood circulation, the  doc told me sleep on my sides.  The books insisted on left side, and I thought it was easy.

My mom always slept on my left, so I have been used to sleeping on my left from childhood, so no big deal i thought. Boy, was I wrong.  The left started aching. my shoulders , my torso, my thighs, the entire left side hurts so bad, that I was determined not to sleep one night!

I read Ezekial this morning, and its not the first time, I read the passage. But today, it was an eye opener.  Ezekial was made to sleep on the left side for 390 days bearing the sins of Israel.  390 days. Can you imagine that? I can't! and another 40 days to the right. and he couldn't turn like me. ( Ezekial 4: 4 onwards).

Guess, I have no reason to complain!

Baby decides!

So the Baby decides it all!  After the doctor's check up, I was more than curious. Anytime is daunting. With a cord around the neck the doctor said, the baby can move anyway, and you don't have a control. Pretty cool aint it. It decides what to do? Turn around, push or pull or tug the cord? Kind of funny.

But yes, as I read the verse ' from my mother's womb, you have been my God' Psalms 22:9, is pretty powerful. and God saying, I knew you from your mother's womb ( to Jeremiah) and ... I have set u apart! Pretty awesome!

The movement is so enjoyable. The slow movement, the hiccups, the wave, the thud thud, the push on one side of the belly. I wish the baby can stay inside some more time. I know, it is hard to walk, sleep or even more around, but still this experience that God has given me is glorious!  Thank you Father!

Mary's experience!

I know 25th Dec does not exactly mark the birth of Christ. It is just another day.. and as dad says, every day is Christmas.  But this season, the stars, the lights, and all the hype of the birth of Christmas got me thinking the other day about Mary.

It sure was a cold winter day, when Jesus was born. And Mary was expecting anytime! Mary had a big belly too! She had to travel a long way (Approx 155 kms!) on a donkey?? I am not sure, how I would have been  . With Joseph more a stranger than a husband. Carrying a baby- no doctors, no electricity, no hotels to stay. And the final climax, they end up in a cattle shed! More donkeys, cows and animals around. The midwife is Mr.Joseph. Its just too hard to imagine, and Mary survived it all with a happy face.. Boy that's brave!

So this December, has been quite different from all the ones, I have seen before in my life. I try to relate myself with Mary, and the events that unfolded. Complete submission, surrender. And my complaints rest still as I stand in awe of the greatest event in human history.  

The Creator of heaven and earth , humbles himself to be born/created inside a puny human, in such a humble setting. Just unbelievable! As I feel my belly move, I can't help but thank God for creating a lil one inside me, and every kick, just reminds me of how humble I have to be!

Pslams 22: 9,10
Yet you brought me out of the womb;
    you made me trust in you, even at my mother’s breast.
¹⁰ From birth I was cast on you;
    from my mother’s womb you have been my God.

Any time!

‘Any time’ had so far been a part of a optimistic word.. You can call me ‘anytime’ for help. Sounds very  ensuring, isn’t it?   

But now, after 35 th week, this word is creepy. You can expect the baby ‘ANYTIME’! Well what does that mean? Water, labor, blood, baby? Anytime, anywhere? 

‘The baby is now full grown, and is ready to be born’, the doctor said.  All the waiting, the anticipation has now come to a climax.  The countdown has begun. Its just days to the due date, and yet they say ‘ANYTIME’, making the climax real, intimidating!

But isn’t it exciting? I finaly get to see, what was moving in my belly.. lol. 2 little eyes, 1 lil nose and mouth. 2 little ears, and hands and legs.. well, well, well… aren’t all babies similar.. why am I hyping things off.. My big mouth has once said, that all babies- animals, birds, or even insects look cuter when they are young… I still do agree.. but this hype about my baby.. boy or girl, chubby or thin, eye lashes like sathish or me? Will it be a chatter box like me or silent like sathish?  Well, I have to wait and see..

All of this reminds me of, the other ‘anytime’ I have to be ready for.  If He’s gonna come tonite, am I ready? Am I ready anytime, to receive my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ? The countdown has begun....

Squirmy wriggler

  That’s how it feels when my baby wriggles around.  Its like a wave, from one side of my belly, and then twist and the turn.  It is so funny, that it make you laugh at time, and so funny that it stops all of a sudden.  It is so involuntary, that it you are caught unaware. You can be in the middle of a serious meeting. Or eating or sleeping or travelling, and then the whole surfs up!

I still remember, how feeble the tap tap was, few months ago, and now this whole rush of movement, pulling my own skin- flesh, dancing and swimming around. I still can’t make out what part is where, but I can feel the push and pull and even see my belly move up and down.. haha.. isn’t it funny..The belly moving by itself? Up and down, sideways  and the knotty feeling inside as it twist and turns.  Its hard to imagine that my lil one is trying to stretch and wriggle in such a confined space. The belly button popped out and my belly is the size of 2 footballs, and walking at times is like wobbling like a huge hippopotamus. But I know its going to be shortlived, and I am enjoying every moment of it! Wow, Lord you are just amazing...  from a tiny spec to this? and there is much more! Incredible!