Enga Amma enga

That's the first thing she asks when she gets up.  And the stress is on the first word.  

I am never there when she gets up. But weekends I get to see at times when I am not in the bed with her.  She goes 'enga Amma enga?'  for about 10,15 times in short succession.  That even before I rush to the bed,  she would be in tears chanting these words.

I wish and hope I search, for Christ like that every morning!

Really?

My friend from school was sharing her conversation with her 8 year old son.

They were talking about Christmas plans to visit their dad in another country.  Mike was worried how they would travel alone. My friend had said, don't worry we have Jesus with us.  To which he replied,  what are you saying,  Jesus is not here in this world . Only the Holy Spirit is here.

Kids.  Truth.

Two trees

It happened last week. I was rushing to take the 7 am bus. (read  running). There's a tree at the signal  and one at the stop.  But that day as I was crossing the road,  I was blank for a couple of   seconds.  The road looked bare.

Where was I?  Why is it so different? Trees.  They were gone. Just like that.  They were not huge trees,  but still big trees that have stood for years. 

I can imagine the number of birds it gave shelter to.  Men,  animals too. Feeling sick I'm stomach as I see the chopped trunk and the fallen leaves. 

Unfair.  As long as we are in this world.  Unfair.

Never the same

I never  like sitting on the floor,  cross legged.  My eldest brother loves it.  Not me.  Lying on the floor was also not my cup.  And so were host of other things  like getting up early or in the middle of the night.

It all changed.  Abruptly.  No notice.  Doc had said all Indian way of life,  squatting, and others were good for normal delivery.  But even then I wasn't into it.

What came after the baby,  is THE change any girl experiences.  It starts with  sleepless nights.  You are awake every 2 hrs.  You multi task.  Feed and clean the poop.  You juggle with  the diaper, hands and legs.  You can choose a dress in a wink of the eye. 

Then comes the gymnastics. You sleep in the very edge of the bed.  You get up carefully not to wake the baby.  You sit on the floor and get up 100 times to get water,  food,  diaper,  change of clothes and Other million things.  You become  a doctor.  Give medicines,  though you yourself can't stand them.  You can with stand the scream of an hungry baby,  angry kid,  hurting kid. Which  otherwise you wouldn't even turn your head.  A slight movement of a baby can wake you up.  As silly as a mosquito bite can keep  you awake for hours and make you into a hunter all night.

Going out is a project.  You plan,  make a list of things to take for even a restaurant,  the baggage you carry can be overwhelming.  Spoons,  water,  flask,  toys,  diaper,  change of clothes and a million thing.  And you are sure to forget some important thing. For someone who likes to stuff everything into a Jean,  so as to not carry a handbag.  Well,  that's life!

It's funny how you see yourself evolve into something so different. I have cut my hair,  prefer a nightie which I used to hate,  can nibble on any leftovers, sleep for 4 hours a day - every day and not even complain. 

I now spend say 6-7 hrs at home awake.  Do I spend quality time.  No.  Am exhausted and don't even do justice to Amy.  I am my old self at office I think,  and I can't actually claim never the same.  But I guess I have changed a lot after Amy and I bet all mothers do.  Priority changes,  choices,  decisions, plans.  Almost every thing  in your life.

Guess God's plan to think less of yourself starts at motherhood.

Nostalgic

Just happened to see some of my old pictures in fb. Especially with team. My old teams,  units.  Most have left Infosys,  but the energy,  fun during that time captured in those pictures are priceless.

So looks like I had a life before Amy.  Lol.  Lately it had just been her pictures every where that I almost forgot about the rest.  Now looking at those pictures,  and commenting on them or liking them,  brings back memories.

And another fact too.  That though they were good friends from work,  now if I get to meet,  the conversation is on hru,  family,  work  and the good old days. Nothing goes much further than that. Strange and sad.  Guess I have to be content on my current situation and not expect too much.

less than 60 days

tiz less than 60 days
yet in touch with more than 30 new names,
some brazilians, some indians,
some by calls, some by mails, some by faces,
mix of webex, timezones and lots of calls
Different cities, countries, continents,
stretched and not without escalations..

Lost in rain of Portuguese,
Lost in translation
Back to back calls.
Strange personalities
Different Temperaments

Some (mean) business,
Some shared laughter.
Packed calendars
sleep less nights ( add a kid in terrible twos)
mistakes, delays, plans, deliverables.
Escalations - external & internal( read personal)

Overwhelming.
Exhilarating
Exhausting.
Head aches
Complex
Complicated.

and no silver lining
not in the NEXT 8 months.
Drowning? yes, I feel so too..
But hey am still afloat, alive, alert, ,awake, enthusiastic!

Interesting, yes. Challenging, yes. Impossible, yes. and Fun?

well, yes - to see bunch of strangers ( just 2 mths back) talking non stop on a call, trying to understand, working togethar across the oceans - connecting the dots and get that day's impossible moving. Folks from 6 countries in 1 call.. what would you call that? Beyond culture, language, experience, gender, region getting to work on one common goal.

My mantra - stuck on my desk along with the scribble of my 2 yr old - 'I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. ', keeps me anchored, infuses energy, and on my toes again...

To my friends : if you hear me lamenting again- point me to this blog, to get me bounce back :)

-Originally written in Infybubble -19 Mar 2015

Infy Umbrellas!

I couldn't help giggling, when my eye first fell on them. Big, huge, granpa umbrella's! The place where they are, and the volume of it! I eyed all those carrying them strangely. Crazy office, crazy people!

Reality struck, one day and there I was stranded, between buildings, and it poured ( yeah, it does rain at times in Chennai), Helter skelter, we ran and that's when I understood the usefulness of umbrellas in office. But I still dint get of all the sizes, why the granpa size! ( I used to be embarrased at one such thing at home, long back.)

So there I was, (yeah it was again a rainy day), carrying a handy, the maximum foldable, tiny umbrella, that fits into my small handbag! It rained, and I proudly took mine out, whereas the others depended on the granpa ones. The rain poured, and I was all wet. The umbrella, could barely keep my head from getting wet. Oh, how I understood the usefullness of Infy umbrellas!

Now when I see the big colorful ones, I smile, for I just love them, and you would agree what a great demand it has on rainy days and ofcourse on sunny days all round the year in Mcity!

PS: It looks beautiful as you see many people carry it all togethar. Green, blue, red, orange. Lovely!


-Originally written in Infybubble- 20 Feb 2008

S P A C E

One thing I much appreciate in Mcity, is its landscape.
We, living all our lives in the city, are used the roads, narrow lanes, buildings, and more buildings. We cant offord to look up, coz you would have been stepped over, or u could step over a pot hole, or let your bag be stolen. So here we are, always looking straight, eyeing sideways and also to the ground. We hardly look up to catch a plane fly past.

What does Mcity or any Infy office give you? S P A C E ! Lot of it. Everywhere!

Be it the cloudless blue sky, the sunrise/sunset or the star filled sky, or the green lawns, the flowers, the trees, it gives you space. Space to breathe, space to relax, space to look above and SEE.

The evening sky, ( if you catch the 5.40 train) is the best painting you can get to see. The colors pink, red, orange splashed from one end to the others, with the sunlight reflecting on clouds, shows master piece of the Artist. If you work late, Moon steals the lime light. On full moon day, you cant help but remember the Bruce Almighty antics. The star studded sky, is yet another thing I enjoy.

The rolling hills, the trees, the flowers add up to the beauty. Mcity, the best for space!


-Originally written in Infybubble, 21 Feb 2008

B4-Bees, back with the BANG!

Since the completion of B4 Mcity, we have been witness to the hard work of bees. Call it determination, perseverance, hardwork. They have it all.

I sit in B4 4th floor, A wing near the window. I enjoy the rolling hills, the blue sky, the lovely sunset and ofcourse the Chennai summer heat is quite obvious here. But this was unexpected! For once while removing the shades, we experienced what I call the ‘Mummy effect’. Swarms of bees reminding of the movie ‘The Mummy’ swarm past the window, giving all in our team goosebumps that lasted for 3 whole minutes. It was like a thick black cloud of thousands of bees flying from the left to the right.

I bet, the flowers around Mcity, make it their home and the position of the glass in B4, the height of it, makes it a favorite place for the Bees. For throughout this year, every week, we see a bunch of bees up above, in different shapes. Line, round, curled, spread out, dripping. It was something to look forward to, each morning, to look up and see what’s new today.

Ofcourse, they were never made to stay long. The Facilities burn them down and we see a host of dead bees on the pavement as far as B1 too. Its sick to see them lifeless. But I know they’ll come back. The perseverance is in their blood. Their generation. The 'Never give up' attitude. 'To live to the best each day', 'come what may'.

Are they challenging us for something?

-Originally written in Infybubble -10 Jul 2008

The devil in me

It was a Friday evening. With the weekend spirit catching up, me and my friend hurried to take the 6 PM shuttle from Mcity to Paranur Railway station. The bus stopped to a halt, and I stood in the aisle waiting impatiently to get down. That's when I noticed the person in front of me. Clad in jean, and holding a bulging handbag, the ipod was almost popping out. It was a huge one.. Must be the 30 GB ipod. It was in the side bag meant for holding the cellphone.. Just when I thought of getting that person's attention to it, the devil in me, tried to try a hand at it.

As cautiously as I could, I put my hand to it, hoping against hope not to get caught red handed by this awful act. Boy! Was my adrenalin pumping!! And I picked it! Before I could give a sigh of relief, I heard a gasp. A loud one at that. I quickly turned, to see 3 pairs of wide eyes , 3 mouth popped open, following my little devilish act. I couldn't keep from wondering what the 3 guys in seat would have thought. "An Infoscion, that too one carrying a laptop (could be a mgr), in broad day light, in a public bus, with witnessess standing by, doing such a CHEAP act!" Seeing their aghast look, I couldn't help smiling at them.. A wide ear to ear beam.

I was afraid, they would alert the person ahead of me.. This all happened under a fraction of second, that I dint know, what I was upto myself. I got down, clutching the big IPOD in one hand. I was very sure, those 3 guys were watching me. I could imagine, next day's Headlines in the Infy BB. The pickpocketer Infoscion. I hope they dint see my emplid in my Id. I was determined to walk slow. I can't give in now!

It takes 10 mins to walk from the bus to the station. I almost had to wait 5 mins to let the 3 guys walk past me. I overheard one saying aloud, 'hey we could have done that da" ahem... I couldn't help giggling,and reluctantly handed the ipod over to my unsuspecting friend. We did have a good laugh over the whole incident and I wished I could have pulled the gig a lil too long atleast till my friend missed her IPOD! So I had successfully pulled it off! Not just with my friend, but also those 3 Infy guys :)


-Originally written in Infybubble 29-Aug-2008.