Handling Grief

Excerpts from the testimony from Mrs. Hannah Alex, who worked with her husband Dr. Alex as medical missionary in Orissa, Bondo field for 10 years. He passed away suddenly due to massive heart attack on May 5, 2017 . He was 48. He leaves behind his wife and two teenage daughters.

1. Death was a common house topic. All must die one day. It was real and often talked about. 
2. Blessed is the one, who goes first.
3. This is not our house. Heaven is our house. 
3.Assurance and trust in God that he'll take care of the family left behind.
4. I am beloved, precious, and chosen by God.
5. Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed," says the LORD, who has compassion on you.  Isaiah 54:10
6. Death is glorious.
7. Life is futile. Anything can happen. Anytime. To anyone.
8. God's timing is unique. All things happen together for good for those who are called according to his purpose. Near death experience due to accident and sickness earlier, but God protected and rescued.
9. A burden, groan about pain and sinfulness of the world... To release to a better place.
10. Holding lightly to people.
11. True love , let's go. Not wish for them to get back, be in hospital again!
12. God provides resources, are all around. Open your eyes to look.
13. God prepares you.
14. God cares. Just like a parent who thinks about child staying alone in hostel, away from home. How much more would he think about you!
15. God takes away the guilt ( what ifs), guilt conscious, like how Paul is able to testify powerfully in Jerusalem.
16. God takes care of finances. If an organization is careful to pay monthly, how much more God will plan and provide.
17. The relationship with Christ, is real. While walking, talking, cooking is real.
18. When the word of God richly dwells in you, he helps you bounce back quickly.
19. Reflection.
20. Move forward in faith. Not backward. He can't come back. He can't help. You are yet to finish the race. Finish well
21. Living free,  with No fear or distress.
22. Accept he's not there. He won't come back. Heart accepts.
23. Prepare yourself for death. And prepare others around you for death.
24. God is love. He gave his only son as sacrifice. We don't need any extra proof about his love. He told. He did. So do not doubt his love.
25. He is Almighty God. He is enough. He has everything with him. He will guide you. He will be your strength. He will carry you.
Have faith.
26. Devil can't push you down. We won't look back. Or sit and mourn.
27. There will be challenges, but we have a God who is a very big God.
28. He is a good God. He never makes mistakes.
29. I may be small., but am stronger than an elephant, because of Jesus. His word in your heart strengthens you ahead.
30. God is the richest person. He has everything.
31. Think of God's goodness. His love and his faithfulness..

Question to ask those in grief.
1.What happened.
2.How did you feel
3. What was very difficult feeling.
Lend a listening ear

How to help
1. Check if you can provide basic need. Any immediate help
2. Say you are not alone. We are with you.

Assurance of eternal life.
Eternal life starts from the day you accept Christ.
You, your children, spouse, parents, their health, future, protection, nothing is in our control.
God has numbered my hair and also the hair on my loved ones.
He never forsakes anyone who come to him.

Exercising your faith.

Uyir pirindhalum.
Word of Christ

God's blue print

I was opened to the truth by a counsellor in 2013. She asked me, if I knew what was God's plan for marriage.  Battered by Ephesians on 'Submission', I wasn't very sure. 

She showed me 7 nuggets, blueprint of God's original design for marriage from Genesis 1-3 chapter. 

1. Companionship. Genesis 2:20.

Husband and wife together (not alone) , as good companions all their lives. 

Opposite: Strangers, Incompatible, violent, suspicion. 

2. Helper suitable. Gen 2:18

Both encouraging and uplifting each other. 

Opposite: Independent, unsuitable, abusive. 

3.Leave and cleave. Gen 2:24

Leave their own parents - emotionally and be with the spouse. 

Opposite: Diffused, inclusive, Soul ties. 

4. One-flesh. Gen 2:23

Be of oneness. 

Opposite: Platonic, Unfulfilled, defiled. 

5. Transparency. Gen 2:25

Have nothing to hide. Be intimate and open to each other. 

Opposite: Guarded, private space, Defensive

6. Obedience to God  Gen 3:11

Love, obey, trust and follow God's word together. 

Opposite: Rebellion against God, Worldly pursuit, spiritual adultery

7. Fellowship with God. Gen 3:8

Commune with God together, enjoying in his presence! 

Opposite: No growth, stunted, Self sufficient, ungodliness. 

She then quoted, the devil comes to steal, kill and destroy, John 10,10.He doesn't want God's plan for your marriage to be fulfilled. 

Hence, we become strangers,  violent, defensive, unfulfilled, independent, abusive

Sin has marred the design God had planned. Devil plays havoc, if we give a foothold. So stand firm, resisting in faith. Wear your armor. Be on Guard. Submit to God. Resist the devil and he'll flee! 

She asked me to pray for God's original Design in my life. To pray over my marriage till I see all 7 points in my marriage. This I learnt again in MFL! Praise God. 

Do you see where you are lagging in your marriage. Will you pray for God's restoration on your marriage?  One that's so beautiful, free and fulfilling? 

Living and the dead

Dad was sharing this last night. 

In the wilderness, there is an incident when Moses tells Aaron the priest to make atonement for the people and to take incense from the altar, and run into the camp, carrying the censer.

So Aaron did as Moses said, and ran into the midst of the assembly. The plague had already started among the people, but Aaron offered the incense and made atonement for them.

Numbers 16:47 NIV

He stood between the living and the dead, and the plague stopped.

Jesus is the atonement. (Romans 3:25)

The incense is the prayers. ( Revelation 8:4) 

We are the priests. (1 Peter 2:9)

To stop the plague, we are to hurry and stand between the living and the dead. The plague will stop. 

So let's press on. 

We can't be lethargic.

We can't disown our duty.

 It's time we hurry, and stand between the living and the dead. 

kotai

Dad was talking about kotai. Fortress in India. Budda kotai, kali kotai, ramar kotai, tirupati kotai, and that we like Joshua and the Israelites need to walk around these with fervor till it breaks down. And that there will be a day when it will all come tumbling down and nobody  will even remember the name of these forts. 

He also said we should never get satisfied with our life and stop praying around these fortresses. He talked about his experience 30 years back, when while sleeping at night he saw a kali devil at his feet begging not to pray and drive them out. It was pleading not to drive them out. when dad shouted the name of Jesus, it jumped and ran away, he still remembers the dogs barking in that area when it ran away. 

This incident gave him a confidence that ofcource we have the God given authority and the devil in fact trembles when we pray. This encourages him to pray more. 

He also said that this work of praying around the fort is not work of 1 man, but a call for all of us, our future generation, till all the idol forts come tumbling down. The work is not done.

He also remembered Emil , Patrick uncle, Kamalesan uncle who started and encouraged this years back and that though they are not here, they are still praying and joining with us in this prayer.

Father in Heaven

Dad was saying that he says the Lord's Prayer maybe 50 times a day. FIFTY? That seemed crazy. 

I looked at him quizzicaly. My husband says that often, that I thought he was saying it without meaning. Wouldn't monotonous repetitive stuff make it go awry? 

Dad said, the first thing he says when he gets up from sleep is ' paramandalil irukum engal pidhavae'. He pauses there for some time, imagining God in Heaven his throne, the Son our High Priest and the Holy Spirit.  I guess that's his throne room experience.  What excited me was the number of times he goes there throughout the day. He said, when you see me doing nothing, I am most probably saying it in my mind. I never stay idle, for if I let my mind wander devil will get a foothold. 

Now that's something. Throne room, not only during morning time, but throughout the day, whenever you get some time,  you sneek into the throne room! To bask in His presence for that's actually where you belong.  

Dad said, I am already in heaven..though I am still here. 

Bet dad's mind is filled with heaven that nothing on earth shakes him. Lol 

God's mercies -new every morning!

My husband had an accident last Friday. A motorbike guy was looking elsewhere and hit head on, on a turning. My guy usually rides slow. He saw him coming straight and was shouting to get his attention but  in a fraction of second, he was hit and fell on the road. God miraculously saved him from other vehicles on that busy small road in tambaram.
Thank God he had his helmet on and as he fell he had hit the iron railway railing on his left shoulder. By God's amazing grace, though he fell, he had no broken bones. He came home with a wound bulging from his shoulder socket . The size of a 🍅tomato. It was huge and oozing blood. He checked with the doctor next day as the  swelling was big and was painful. But by God's grace the wound healed and the swelling went away.

Few days later, our AC stopped functioning properly. We called the ac mechanic, but he had not yet turned up. So my husband cleaned the vent , blower and the whole room, fan, above the cupboards etc. He had been on the ladder and whn he climbed down he slipped and fell! He hit the cupboard with the full size mirror and it broke. I would have not known of him falling unless with the proof of the mirror crack.

Falling from the ladder is no simple thing. I know that for a fact. (Peter Rabbit influence) it was only God's hands that had held him when he fell from the height. I know of fateful accidents of friends and family of slipping and falling, leading to paralysis, loss of mobility, hospitalisation and even death!

Thanking God for his mercies and love. Though we don't deserve it God is so loving, faithful and compassionate. 

Stories for Children

Names of God.

Stories on God's name Jehovah Shamma, Jehovah Jireh, Jehovah Shalom, Jehovah Rapha, Jehovah Roopa, Elokim, el shaddai.Adonai

James 4:6 Lesson on Pride
“God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”" James 4:6,  

2 Timothy 1:7 Fear or Aut
For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

James 1:19 Lesson on anger/Listening
Everyone should be,quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry

PRov 15:1 GEntle answer. 
Colossians 4:6, NIV: "Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone." .
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. 


Luke 6:38 Lesson on giving/sharing
Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you."

2 Corin 9:7

 God loves a cheerful giver

Matt 7:12
So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the ..

The sprain

It was Tuesday morning. I was not in a hurry. But 2 of my girls were up.. and I know they'll be chattering for food immediately. My eldest was in bed, on the edge, in order to wake her up.. and get Lilybel some time to play, and especially off my hands so that I can get breakfast ready, I put Lilybel next to Amy. I stretched and must have miss calculated her weight, when I placed her slowly down, that I felt a sharp pain on my back. Yickes. I couldn't move.. I wriggled, and I was able to stand. 
The moment I put her down, she cried, and wanted me to carry her, so I had to stretch with the pain, and that's when I realised I couldn't lift her weight. My wee baby has grown!

That was it! After that I couldn't sit, bend down or stand. Bending down to pick Lilybel is so common, that I found it so hard for every small thing. Sitting down, was even worse.. Whichever position I sat, I had a shooting pain.  I remembered by brother, who had suffered from back pain earlier. It was so terrible.  I couldn't even lie down to feed the baby. Standing was much better. With 3 kids around, bending over to lift toys, books, or a chair was inevitable.

I realised, how thankful, I ought to be for the grace God had given me every single day. To walk, to sit, to lie down, to roll over, to bend over, to turn around without a second thought is grace! Pure grace of God.  God has healed me now. I can move around much better.. but I do feel the piercing pain.. and I know, what I should be doing. Thanking God for all that he had done! Never will I look down at anyone complaining about pain!

Just in time

Corrie ten Boom and her sister Betsie were middle-aged Christian women in Holland when World War II erupted. They resolved to conceal fleeing Jews from the Nazis. They rescued many. But they were eventually arrested and taken to Ravensbrück concentration camp. Betsie died there. Corrie miraculously survived to bear witness to the way in which God can save, heal and forgive.

When asked how to prepare for persecution, she used to tell this story about her childhood: 

‘When I was a little girl, I went to my father and said, “Daddy, I was afraid that I will never be strong enough to be a martyr for Jesus Christ.” “Tell me,” said father, “When you take a train trip to Amsterdam, when do I give you the money for the ticket? Three weeks before?” “No, Daddy, you give me the money for the ticket just before we get on the train.” “That is right,” my father said, “And so it is with God’s strength. Our Father in heaven knows when you will need the strength to be a martyr for Jesus Christ. He will supply all you need just in time.”’

Excerpt from Nicky Gumbel- Bible in one year. 

Flying a kite

Had been a childhood dream... My guy let me fly one during our honeymoon in Cochin.. oh what a day it was!!

Last week Amy was jumping up and down, when a small paper flew. She then experimented with a plastic cover. It flew too.. thanks to fan. Then she tied a thread to the cover and let it fly. Seeing it I thought why not. I asked my guy...there was no response. So I checked some YouTube videos... Looked pretty simple. But didn't have the kuchi to do it.

Asked selvi akka to bring 2. She got a bunch. And today we tried it. It was easy to make. My guy wasn't sure I tied it properly. He said this won't fly. So we took it upstairs. The first one went down and fell into the neighboring bushes. I was disappointed. To try the next one or not... Seeing my girls Glee, I decided to give a last try.

The second one flew. My guy flew it beautifully.. he himself was surprised how strong it was. It crossed the road and into the next neighbor coconut tree.. it flew though stuck but my husband rescued after nearly 30 mins. We played for another 1 hr.

So thankful to God for the gentle breeze and the air we breathe!