Fading face

I have seen Amy everyday, everyday of her life. And everyday she keeps changing.. She is bigger now. Her hair has grown so much, if pulled in front, it touches her eyes! Her hands, legs have grown too.. Her face has changed a lot since her birth.

But try as I might, to remember her face - or how she looked few months back, its blank.. All I remember is my lil girl, as she is now. Yes, the photos help.. but still my memory fails. I can't remember the things she used to do too..

Her current playtime goes like this. She is on her back, and uses both her feet like matchstick. She presses hard on her feet and pushes them! She puts her arms out, as if she is riding a bicycle! and then, in a flash she turns over.. Her hands get stuck a little, but she manages to balance herself.

I hope I cherish each day, and remember all her stunts!

Noises

I remember Amy waking up to the sounds of squirrels and birds during her first month. Chithi used to say that they come and say good morning to her. I would be nursing her, and suddenly there would be a squirrel chattering and Amy would open her eyes wide and look around and push her head to the sound of the noise. Boy, how I hated the squirrels and birds at that moment. Later, I realised, that they were infact up and thanking the Lord with their little voices and I shouldn't be mad at them.. But it was crazy when all you want is your newborn to sleep, and then she waking up at the birds song.
I then closed the curtains, at 5 AM, before Amy or the birds could wake up!

Dad's house is located near the dead end of our road, hence practically not much vehicles pass by. Hence not much noises. Just the sounds of the gate opening, and occasional truck passing by, and I was mad, whenever those woke her up.

We moved to our house on May 11th 2013, and our house is on the corner of 2 streets. Making it the most busiest road. Cycles, motorbikes, autos, vans, pass by every hour, even after midnight! And our bedroom does not block out all the noise. Amy was wide awake the entire night the first day we came. I was helpless. Seeing her sleep filled eyes, yet a honk or a vrooom waking her up every 10 mins was too much! The gate squeeking at dad's house was much better! To get her accustomed to the noises, we took her walking. We had just crossed a shop, where they began to drill some hole. It was so loud that lil Amy started crying. This was a weird cry. Not out of pain ( like injection), but out of fear. Thatha did not know what to do. Neither did I. We tried and consoled her and she seemed ok after 10 mins.

Its been 2 weeks now. She has got used to the honking, and vroooming of the vehicles. She even got used to the loud snore of thatha! I am glad Amy is adapting and getting used to different things of the worlds. I am proud of her.

Thank you Lord for teaching me to adapt too! Love you!

Flurry of activities...

My baby girl is growing! She smiles at everyone. She sticks out her tongue and blushes so beautifully.

She is getting stronger. She stomps her feet on the rocker. Her hands and feet are always on the move [ in air). I wonder, what she will do, once she starts to walk!

She is a grabber. She can grab the little toy on her rocker. She can hold the rattle for few seconds.

She sucks her fingers. The middle two fingers in her right hand. She also puts her index finger of her left hand.. Sometimes, her mouth is so full of fingers, and saliva! lol. Its funny to see how she steadies her fingers sucking with her left hand at times!

She always has bad hair day.. but I love the way it stands...

She is a big girl now. Her head is almost firm and stands upright. She tries to turn over by herself.. and has succeeded once ( only her hand got caught inside her torso)

Whenever I see her dozing off, I can't help but thank God for such a lovely girl. Thank you Jesus for your love on the cross, for your mercies, for your grace to have this lil one. Help me father, to treat her the right way :)

Where did she learn?

Amy amazes me sometimes..

Where did she learn to suck?
Where did she learn to kick her legs?
Where did she learn to smile?
Where did she learn to suck her fingers?
Where did she learn to smile?

Sure she's helpless most of the time,, Can't move her head as much as she wants to.. Can't talk, or express what she wants.. Can't move around. Can't eat what she wants..

Well she's 3 months old now, and she's gonna learn lot of things soon. She smiles whenever dad talks.. She responds to 'Ohh... oh..', 'apdiya'. she looks into each faces and smiles and giggles.. she blushes with dad too....

Milk

Past year has been one of major discovery. Your body changes, every day. Each week, the growing fetus, had quite an impact on my body. It dint stop when Amy showed up this year. It is just awesome how the milk starts coming.

I was told that it is directly proportional to how much you nurse. Give and it shall be given unto you, I read. I heard lot of stories too. My brother asks if I was a milk van or what, I was always feeding Amy!

Btw, ever wondered, how babies know things? They know how to suck milk! They know how to smile! Probably the only things that they know how to!

Sleep

Oh how I would love to sleep some more. My aunt kept insisting I sleep in December. I was too lazy to sleep then.

But now, my sleep is dependent on Amy's. Some days she sleeps and sleeps. I was so happy the other day, when she woke up at 11 AM. She's just like me! Its pretty hard to wake her up, if she sleeps. Sleep she would do, and you can't stop her!
She will fall asleep so quickly. She is a darling.

And there are days, when it is so hard to make her sleep. You can do all sorts of things, and she is wide awake. Looking at you with such big eyes, and a pretty smile- sticking out her tongue. She is so funny and she's not even 3 months old!

Owner ?

Being the youngest, I had never seen a newborn, as a child. Once when mom took me to a hospital to see her friend- who had just given birth to a baby, she took me along. That was the first time, I saw tiny feet and hands, and asked, how small they could be. Of course I wanted to carry, just like my doll Princess. I was told not to touch the baby. No kisses. Watch from a distance I was told.
When my nephew and niece were born, I carried them in my arms. But yet, I had instructions on how to hold, carry, or kiss the baby.

But now with Amy, no one has told me anything. I kiss her all I want. I carry her whenever I want. I do acrobatics, with her in my arms. Reach for something out of reach with her in my hand. And she is a doll. She is so sweet. She doesnt cry or is troublesome. She giggles, that toothless grin. Smiles and looks straight into my eyes, probably asking, 'You must be crazy'

As much tempting it is to think, I can do anything I want with her, I am reminded that Amy is not my property. I am not her Owner. I am just privileged to have her. Its by grace, and it is such a blessing. It is not over. It is no game. It is a lifetime of responsibility that I have in my hand. To nurse her, to teach her, to bring her up in God's way. Thank you Lord. Help me always be grateful and thankful to you!

Amy's words

It all started with 'hey' - if she needed milk. For the past 3 weeks, Amy has been quite talkative. She and dad talk minimum of 30 mins. She looks at him, giggles and says something or the other. Dad sings to her and she sings along. During family prayer, she keeps singing (saying) something...
ahh..ahoo, goli ( reminds me of janet!).... aaahhooo ( yahoo? ) wwahh,ah oh ( huh-oh?) ahh, ai ai ai ai ai ( GOd's must be crazy hero style) I know she'll talk soon... but i am sure gonna miss this!

Dad's favorite song 'maangal neerodai vangithu..', Adah's ' oh-ohhh, and many other songs from the seyal veerar keethangal.( fmpb songs)

Smile

One of the first songs I sang to Amy was ' Smile, Smile Jesus loves you (3) for u are so precious to Him'.

And boy, has she been smiling. She smiles at everything, the ceiling, the windows, the doors, and now, at faces. At me, at daddy's face. She likes his moustache I think. She keeps smiling at him all the time. She sticks out her little tongue outside as she smiles. She raises her eyebrows, sometimes one, and sometimes 2. She also twitches her nose, mouth at times. She is so funny. She poops, while feeding, and when you are exhausted, she just gives a wide smile, and never stops smiling! I love my lil girl. Thank you Lord for her smile!

World outside

Its the third month, and I have never been home this long. Not during school days.. When your annual vacation is a month or so. Not in college too. Neither while working. Even when I switched companies, there has not been more than a month gap.

So this has been the first time, that I am all time home. 24x7. I have lost track of date, day, or week. It is hard to imagine, that my team back in office, are still working on webstars- tickets according to their severity. The team meetings, the ever crowded food court, the busy traffic morning and evening. It is hard to imagine, that it is still the same outside. But here, the world revolves around little Amy.

Waking up, feeding her, changing her diapers. Giving her a bath. Feeding her, making her sleep, burping her. Playing with her. The routine is the same. I am seeing her grow. Her hands and legs becoming stronger, and bigger. Am living inside a smaller world now. It is hard to believe that there is another world outside. I wonder how the transition is going to be!