The heart to write...

Sometimes.. just sometimes you feel like writing... you have so much, that you have to write it down. The thoughts just flow and flow, no matter what you do, you feel energised to write, that you just grab a notepad and type, or type directly as blog.

I disliked the way fb status said 'What is on your mind?' What does it think it is? Poking into private minds.. and yes, definitely many of my friends, me included gave in and wrote what was on our minds. So it is a weird state of mind, that wants to spit everything out..even though on fb something may be completely irrevelant.

Writing blogs is interesting. I write for myself. None of my brothers, or anyone in my family read my stuff. ( I guess that's good, coz I can write whatever I want!) I have made good blog friends, those I have not even met. It does feel good. But there are lean times, when you don't feel like writing. But I take heart in the fact, coz, when I do, I can't stop! I remember getting up at night, turning on the laptop to post something. When mom was sleeping next to me, I remember scribbling in the dark on a paper. I call that as my writing spree!

Yippeee am on one now. Linking blog with facebook.. not sure how good that is.. coz now, many of my friends get to read and comment.. So I guess that's good :)

I thank you Lord, I feel so good, for every single cell in my body is fine!

Flexible??

I thought I was quite flexible type.. You know what I mean. Can adjust to things, new environment, new people. And of course food, weather, lifestyle. To add to my pride, many of friends, entertained the same idea. Oh you, beulah, you can manage! But am I really?


We were in a store, getting kitchen stuff, when I was insisting on getting a particular kind of dish( vessel) for milk, spoon, glass. Sathish would pick one, and I would say, No NO! NOT that, lets take this one. He would have an enquiring look as to ‘Why?’, and I would reply that’s the way we had it at home! I realized, how picky I was when we left the store. I had a bag full of stuff - MY way! And what was I so particular about?? A spoon? Where is my experimental, adjusting brain??

It continued in the cooking too. Sathish loves cooking, and for someone who hates it AND demands her own way, it is really bad to consider herself 'the queen of the kitchen'. Sathish kept a distance. I cooked my mom’s way. It was always 'We did it this way....My mom taught me this way.... We used it like this only'.

I wonder where my flexibility had gone!

Why not rather be wronged? I Corinthians 6: 7

The ultimate test!

While finishing school, I was just happy, I won’t have Quarterly, Halfyearly, Annual exams. But College was a different story. So while finishing College, I was just too happy no more Semester exams, and resolved not to go for any higher studies. So no more test, no more exams.

Well, I was terribly wrong! At work today, we have to take 2 certifications every year. You have to clear them, or your promotion, hike are questionable. Its been 4 years in this company, and God has been graceful to help me complete each year.

I also thought I was doing good.. Till last month. The ultimate test. Whatever you learnt, read, taught, wrote(in blog!), thought, well it’s all put to test every day. EVERY SINGLE DAY! It feels like, God said, Oh yes, I know you are good and want to be good, and you have been good at it so far. Now is the time to put it to the ultimate test! I can’t wait to clear this every day! (there is no escape!)

Roller coaster!

I love the rollercoaster. I have friends, who at the sight of it, cringe back and say a big NO. Last ride I went on my own, was at a huge theme park. 4 of my friends stayed back. I went alone, and was dying to go back again. :P

Yes, the safety is questionable. Imagine one of the bolt gives away and u fly away! ZOOM and a THUD, CRASH, BOOM! Haha.. Sounds funny. On a serious note, I agree rollercoaster are one of the wild rides. Just the look of it, and the noise makes yr adrenalin pump, and your guts wrench.. But I guess that’s the thrill of it.

Oh life has become a roller coaster. You go zooooooom, zip, splash, and a wroooom,whoosh, zoooooom. Unexpected, exciting, thrilling, scary, weird, head spinning, adrenalin pumping, stomach churning, mind boggling… Oh boy this phase is weird.. It’s bad that nobody tells you what's involved.. and you have to go through it on your own to know it all! Its definitely not the old cozy spot! But new and different in everyway.

I have one big consolation, that I know the manufacturer of the rollarcoaster, the faithful one who put me on it the first place! So I just have to relax and enjoy the new ride!

Discovery!

The best person to know all about me, is me! - This is what I had always thought. But past week has been a revelation of I, me, myself. Stranger still, it takes another person to discover the real me.

Chapter 2 has been different in every way. I had thought, it would be little different, but never thought that it will be a 180 turn in every way. Spiritually, emotionaly, physically, and mentally. Chapter 2 is different, way too different from Chapter 1. Apart from discovering each day more about me and Meulah, there has been lot to life, which I had been utterly unaware of all these years.


Its been a secret. Yes, a profound mystery. Definitely, indeed! In every way! I know there is more ahead. But one thing is for sure, God who made my Chapter 1 exciting and adventurous is going to be with me in Chapter 2. Though it is little scary, I think with faith I can say, ' I am game'.

Dove tail joint!

We had a class in carpentry during Engineering and one of the joints we did was Dove tail joint. This joint is little complex and demands utmost precision. Both the wooden parts are pretty different. Infact they are completely different. But they have to be so, to make a strong joint.

Past few weeks, I was reminded of it along with a story I had read some 10- 15 years back ( in Guidepost!) . A lady was preparing to stitch a blouse, and was cutting the cloth into pieces for the arms. She was pondering in her heart why she and her spouse were so different from each other. She was so lost in thought, that she realised a little too late, that she had cut the left and right arms of the blouse as the same left side. Now those two pieces were completely useless and were unfit for the blouse. God taught her that day, that only 2 different - left/right arms of a cloth can make a blouse!


A dear friend of mine, commented once, that her spouse was custom made for her. Intrigued, I had asked what that meant as hers was a forced marriage, without her consent. She replied, God is good all the time, and he is in complete control of all his children's life, and that her spouse has been the kind that she had prayed for.

I am so glad, that God has full control of our life, and that though different as each block of the dove tail, he ensures it is a custom made joint. Strong and perfect for each other- specially and uniquely built by the master carpenter.

Yoked!

They talked about yoke at church. I have never seen a yoke closely( I guess). So here's the google version.






Yoke is heavy, hard and difficult to have around your neck! Imagine being tied to something like that. But in reality, we do have lot of things tied up in our minds. Worry, fear, anger, addiction, money, control, fame, power. Something that is tied so hard, that it actually takes a toll on us. They tie 2 bulls to the yoke. Mostly- 1 strong and the other weak, or 1 experienced and other new. The stronger experienced bull, leads and guides the way and the weaker one follows and learns.


In our life, we either have cares of this world, or God as our yoke. If we have cares of this world, they sure get stronger and lead u astray. But if we have God, he took away the worry, pain, all the sin, punishment on himself, and now the burden is on him, that the yoke he gives is easy and light.




All we have to do, is have his yoke, and follow him. A faith walk, without sins or burdens. and what do we get, the bible says, we are 'Holy' , ' Righteous', filled with fullness of Christ'. Isn't it too big a title for me!
I hope I don't get bull headed and pull to my own way!

Are you yoked? btw, to what/whom? What's pressing you now?

Matthew 11:28-30
28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

The book I love!

Name a kid, who doesn't love comics? That's how I started my first Bible. It was a picture bible, with pictures and dialogues in comics style. I loved that Bible, read it from cover to cover. Even now, the images or visuals of many of the characters or stories in my mind, are those from that Bible.Dad was working on a picture bible for tribals, without any language so he had collected lot of picture bible for his drawing reference. So my next bible was a LARGE Children's Bible. That was the age, when my favorite books were Hardy boys, Nancy Drew and Enid Blytons. The children bible fonts were huge just like the story books, that I read them like a story! ( I was probably 9 or 10 )

Looking at the way, I was reading the Bible, my mom and dad gave me a Gideon's Bible to read. I found it very hard to understand. The language, the font, the format were all so different from the Bible I loved. To make it worse I dint understand a thing. So my mom told me to read the Tamil bible parallely.

It was this time, that I made a friend with a book lover. We exchanged Hardy boys, Nancy Drew. She was a voracious reader. She would finish the book in an hour, whereas I would take 3 hours. We decided to read the bible togethar, and boy oh boy it was fun. We finished completely in English ( KJV) and Tamil, again and again may be 10 or more times, that we lost count. To tell the truth I don't think, if I really understood the meaning, I read it like a story book. Enjoyed the History books; gospels, dragged through the prophets, skim read the epistles perhaps. But it was fun to read togethar. Many words in both Tamil and English bounced off my head, but I just wanted to finish reading the whole bible, from beginning to end.

Then dad bought me a study Bible and my brother a Student's bible. I loved it at first sight. There was no columns like a traditional bible, the font was big. Moreover the language was very simple- the story book kind. I understood the meaning, I enjoyed reading it, I underlined,took notes. I woke up at 4 everyday, and spent time with God. I was young, probably 12-14, and that's when I started having a personal relationship with God, and learnt the power of the cross, about HolySpirit, about God's love. During family prayer, me and brother asked a lot of questions to dad. What this means, why so, how did it happen. Hearing and then reading from the Bible, was an amazing feeling. I then moved on to a 1 year bible, and then I often got back to my big old study bible. It is so bulgy, and old, with lines all over the pages! But I love it! Its been more than 10-15 years since I used it, but still get back to it to find some verses, coz I know which page, which side, and what color pen i had used to underline a particular verse! My favorite verse was Gal 6:14 and my favorite book was James!

My friend introduced me to Philip Yancey's book. Oh, how I loved them. By then, my mom had restricted me from reading all novels ( it was school exam time) So I stuck to only Bible and a little of Christian books. In college, my craze was on John Grisham's book, but when I realised my QT was reducing, I decided to stop reading all novels until I bring my QT steady. The same rule applied for any spiritual book. So these days, only when my QT is full and overflowing, I read any other Christian books/magazines! Works well for me!

Just as left is to the right!

Some habits are ingrained in your mind, that you do it automatically, without any thoughts. I was bumping into people, while walking in the hallway/corridor at work. My client manager called that a lil Indian dance. The problem was, I was taught to walk to the left, and my manager was taught to walk to the right. So when we meet in the corridor, am undecided, and move to the left and then to the right. Total mess. Now you got the dance?

In India, and I think even in UK, people keep to the left- on road, walkways, corridors etc. I had to learn and make a conscious effort to walk to the right. It was hard, to unlearn something you have learnt from childhood. But human mind is adaptable. You learn things and then learn to unlearn things. I had to, once I reached India. I was bumping into people again! I was walking to my right in the corridors, hallway of our office, railway stations, on the roads. I consciously tuned my mind to walk to my left. My short trip to Detroit, made it even worse. I was doing the Indian dance.

I wrote this couple of months back. Now its even more clear. Certain things are different. Just as left is to the right. Its better we learn, adapt, unlearn, and adjust than to change the environment we are in. We cannot expect things/people/environment to change, coz its different! - Just as left is to the right!

Pine Cones!

My bro literally laughed out loud, when I opened my bag. I had blamed him, for the TSA had broke open my lock and had checked my bag after I had checked-in in Detroit Airport. ( I had got clay for Praveen, and I assume, they thought it was an explosive? Dono why, I have had 3 security incidents in the past 7 days in 3 different airports!)

My bro, laughed seeing all the pine cones I had brought. While going for a walk around my hotel, the lil pine cones fascinated me, that I picked few of them to my room. While vacating my room, hated to leave them and brought them along. In addition to that I got few from Cathy's home as well. Never realised that I had 15 pine cones! All the way from Houston, Detroit and now in the hot Chennai! ( and other cities on transit ;P)

If you had known me 20 years earlier, you wouldn't be surprised. Me and my friends collected stones 'precious stones' as we called, any pebble, colored stone or funny shaped stone was in our school bags. Yes, we also collected feathers. My favorite one was a greenish red parrot feather- a gift for my birthday from my friend. We stuck them in a collection album ( I did no stamp collecting!)

As my co-worker in Detroit, says, these days I have a thing for leaves and flowers. Every lil, big leaf or flower ends up pressed up in Bible. Everyday it reminds me of an awesome God who took time and care for such simple leaf, which is here today and gone tomorrow.

It also tells me that we don't have to go the Niagara or the Mt.Everest or the Swiss to be stunned by the beauty. All it takes is that we look down, on the grass and the teeny weeny wild flowers. So I got to see the purple crepe myrtle of Houston, the White Dogwood of Detroit, the pretty yellow tree in the sun scorching Delhi ( I spotted nearly 10 of them!) or the cotton puffed cloudy skies of Chennai! Seems God has put us in one HUGE BIG school. All we need are eyes of my 3 yr old nephew, whose eyes would light up, if he sees snow, or mine, when I get inside a huge icecream shop. But most of the times, we just shut our eyes so tight, that we miss all the fun!

Btw, bro said that I can find those pinecones in Ooty! I love them anyway. ( I still got no idea what to do with so many of them, if you have a bright plan, do lemme know!!)