Milk

Past year has been one of major discovery. Your body changes, every day. Each week, the growing fetus, had quite an impact on my body. It dint stop when Amy showed up this year. It is just awesome how the milk starts coming.

I was told that it is directly proportional to how much you nurse. Give and it shall be given unto you, I read. I heard lot of stories too. My brother asks if I was a milk van or what, I was always feeding Amy!

Btw, ever wondered, how babies know things? They know how to suck milk! They know how to smile! Probably the only things that they know how to!

Sleep

Oh how I would love to sleep some more. My aunt kept insisting I sleep in December. I was too lazy to sleep then.

But now, my sleep is dependent on Amy's. Some days she sleeps and sleeps. I was so happy the other day, when she woke up at 11 AM. She's just like me! Its pretty hard to wake her up, if she sleeps. Sleep she would do, and you can't stop her!
She will fall asleep so quickly. She is a darling.

And there are days, when it is so hard to make her sleep. You can do all sorts of things, and she is wide awake. Looking at you with such big eyes, and a pretty smile- sticking out her tongue. She is so funny and she's not even 3 months old!

Owner ?

Being the youngest, I had never seen a newborn, as a child. Once when mom took me to a hospital to see her friend- who had just given birth to a baby, she took me along. That was the first time, I saw tiny feet and hands, and asked, how small they could be. Of course I wanted to carry, just like my doll Princess. I was told not to touch the baby. No kisses. Watch from a distance I was told.
When my nephew and niece were born, I carried them in my arms. But yet, I had instructions on how to hold, carry, or kiss the baby.

But now with Amy, no one has told me anything. I kiss her all I want. I carry her whenever I want. I do acrobatics, with her in my arms. Reach for something out of reach with her in my hand. And she is a doll. She is so sweet. She doesnt cry or is troublesome. She giggles, that toothless grin. Smiles and looks straight into my eyes, probably asking, 'You must be crazy'

As much tempting it is to think, I can do anything I want with her, I am reminded that Amy is not my property. I am not her Owner. I am just privileged to have her. Its by grace, and it is such a blessing. It is not over. It is no game. It is a lifetime of responsibility that I have in my hand. To nurse her, to teach her, to bring her up in God's way. Thank you Lord. Help me always be grateful and thankful to you!

Amy's words

It all started with 'hey' - if she needed milk. For the past 3 weeks, Amy has been quite talkative. She and dad talk minimum of 30 mins. She looks at him, giggles and says something or the other. Dad sings to her and she sings along. During family prayer, she keeps singing (saying) something...
ahh..ahoo, goli ( reminds me of janet!).... aaahhooo ( yahoo? ) wwahh,ah oh ( huh-oh?) ahh, ai ai ai ai ai ( GOd's must be crazy hero style) I know she'll talk soon... but i am sure gonna miss this!

Dad's favorite song 'maangal neerodai vangithu..', Adah's ' oh-ohhh, and many other songs from the seyal veerar keethangal.( fmpb songs)

Smile

One of the first songs I sang to Amy was ' Smile, Smile Jesus loves you (3) for u are so precious to Him'.

And boy, has she been smiling. She smiles at everything, the ceiling, the windows, the doors, and now, at faces. At me, at daddy's face. She likes his moustache I think. She keeps smiling at him all the time. She sticks out her little tongue outside as she smiles. She raises her eyebrows, sometimes one, and sometimes 2. She also twitches her nose, mouth at times. She is so funny. She poops, while feeding, and when you are exhausted, she just gives a wide smile, and never stops smiling! I love my lil girl. Thank you Lord for her smile!

World outside

Its the third month, and I have never been home this long. Not during school days.. When your annual vacation is a month or so. Not in college too. Neither while working. Even when I switched companies, there has not been more than a month gap.

So this has been the first time, that I am all time home. 24x7. I have lost track of date, day, or week. It is hard to imagine, that my team back in office, are still working on webstars- tickets according to their severity. The team meetings, the ever crowded food court, the busy traffic morning and evening. It is hard to imagine, that it is still the same outside. But here, the world revolves around little Amy.

Waking up, feeding her, changing her diapers. Giving her a bath. Feeding her, making her sleep, burping her. Playing with her. The routine is the same. I am seeing her grow. Her hands and legs becoming stronger, and bigger. Am living inside a smaller world now. It is hard to believe that there is another world outside. I wonder how the transition is going to be!

Amma

We called our mom, Amma, mommy, ami, mee, mo. It sounds funny, but mom was our sweetheart. This past 2 months, its been quite confusing. Whenever someone at home, talk to Amy, asking ' where is amma' , 'amma paal kudukaliya, amma ipo vandhiduvanga ( mom, will come jst now), it takes a while to realize, that they were actually referring to ME!

I am still trying to get used to it! The same with 'appa'. We never called our dad, as daddy. It was always 'Appa'. So when people refer, satish as appa, I think they refer to my daddy ( her thatha) only to realise, it was satish!

Helpless

Amy is active and energetic when she is in bed. She kicks her feet, moves them around, and even moves herself to few inches off. Her hands are quick and moving too. Her toes and fingers grasp anything that they touch, pulling sheets, hair and what not.

But you know what, when I try to lift her up and put her somewhere, she looks at me, and looks so helpless! She can't do anything that she wants. Can't talk, can't walk, can't lie down the way she wants to. The only language she speaks, I hardly understand, and that makes me helpless. I am clueless to what she wants.

It has been few weeks, since I am sleeping alone with her. Satish is out of town and my aunt, ,mother-inlaw are not around. so when she cries at night, and I look at her, and try all sorts to calm her down, and still she's crying.. I am all the more helpless. She has got cold, thanks to me, and she has a stuffy nose, that she can't breathe easily. And boy, it is so hard to see her struggle to breathe and sleep.

We got her some hanging rattles, she can't even hold them. She is too young to understand that they are toys. She cant grasp toys yet! She can't even turn her head or eyes as much as she wants to! Oh poor baby, you seem so helpless.

I was talking to my brother today, and we were wondering, how she would be one year from now on. Running around. Talking.
Life! This is an exciting ride!

Mosquito bites

Mosquitoes! Mosquitoes everywhere! Big as a fly, and swift as a flight!

Thanks to the vacant plot, and a garden with lot of green leaves, we have a good lot of mosquitoes. I thank God, for making dad get a new mosquito net for the house. All the windows, and yes even the doors were mosquito proofed. But we still had mosquitoes inside the house, and we got few mosquito bats to

My brother, was insisting that I ( when I was pregnant) always sleep inside a mosquito net. He said, they even had a separate program insisting on the importance of mother and fetus sleeping inside a net. So all the bedrooms, all the beds had mosquito net. But still we have mosquitoes injecting us.

Poor Amy is getting used to it. She has bite marks on her fingers, toes, hands and legs, and even her eyes,cheeks and forehead. In the living room, we kept her inside a mosquito net bed, and now, the cradle even has a mosquito net.

The thing with mosquitoes, you feel the bite only after being bitten!
So the thing I learnt... So be on a watch!! [Much like the evil one!]

Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to. 1 Peter 5:8

Skills acquired

Oh yes, I have learnt lot of things lately..
Holding/carrying a newborn.
Multitasking. Wiping the poop off, while nursing.
Changing diapers in the dark.
Unbuttoning, buttoning Amy's clothes with one hand. ( Left or right)
Giving a newborn a bath.
Holding the newborn with one hand, and reaching out for something that's out of reach. Either with my hand or legs.
Burping the baby.
Changing Amy's diaper under a minute.
Changing Amy's clothes under a minute.
Soothing a crying baby.
Drying her hair and powdering and changing her dress under a minute.
Eating breakfast/Lunch/Dinner under 4 minutes.