The last line of Mom's epitaph reads "Jesus died and rose again, So will we!" If I don't believe this, I have no hope. If I don't believe in eternal life after death, I need not read Bible. She's not 'gone'. But she's next door*; She has left to her home, just like, how I leave office, to reach home.
Yet, I have this overwhelming wave over me every now and then,
I miss Mom's tasty dishes,
I wish I remember all her recipes.
I miss Mom's kisses everyday;
I wish I can hug her one more time.
I miss Mom's smell/voice at home;
I wish I can wipe my face in her saree.
I miss Mom's scoldings;
I wish I understood her better.
I miss Mom's pretty smile;
I wish I can see her laugh and giggle.
I miss Mom's stories;
I wish I learnt all the songs she sang.
I miss holding Mom's hand.
I wish I can lie on her lap, just one more time.
I miss Mom's goodnight;
I wish I wake up to see her next to me.
As I long and struggle forward, I re read what a friend wrote to me.
“You can shed tears that she is gone;
or you can smile because she has lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back;
or you can open your eyes and see all she's left.
Your heart can be empty because you can't see her;
or you can be full of the love you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday;
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember her only that she is gone;
or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind,be empty and turn your back;
Or you can do what she'd want:smile, open your eyes, love and go on.”
I can long and struggle trudging forward;
Or I can enjoy trusting, and practising what I believe in.
It's not the emotional self control, that will take me through. But the strength that He gives me in hugging me every single day to see me through.
Psalms 84 : 7, 5
7 They go from strength to strength, till each appears before God in Zion.
5 Blessed are those whose strength is in you, who have set their hearts on pilgrimage.
*Next door. If she's in the next room, I can't see her, but she's there, ain't it?