Note to a friend

Rummaging through my room, found this old note, a copy that I had actualy written to a co-worker on her bday card. ( dated back in 2003)

Dear Valarmathi,
In all you do put God first, He will direct you and crown your efforts with success. Proverbs 3: 6.

Let Him have all your worries and cares, for He is always thinking about you and watching everything that concerns you. I Peter 5:7.

For He understands us and knows what is best for us at all times. Ephesians 1:8b.

That is why we can say without any doubt or fear, 'The Lord is my helper and I am not afraid of ANYTHING that mere man can do to me. Hebrews 13:6.

God bless you on this new year!

With love and prayers,
beul

Counting...

3 fishes in our fish tank ( aquarium) died one after the other on 3 consecutive days - just the week after mom left us. She often used to complain, that none of us fed the fishes as regularly as her. We did try. The next morning, I rushed to our fish tank and counted the number of fishes. Thank God nothing was floating. It became a habit from that day onward.

Last week, two, 2 year old gold fishes died for no reason. Mom's favorite fairy tailed fishes. May be they missed mom badly as us. I have decided not to count them every morning. What am I trying to do? Count and keep them alive?

How long do you think, you and I can live on this earth? Max 100 years? I can see you laughing. Ok, max 50 or 40 years? Well, how best can I leave this earth? Enoch, and Elijah of the Bible are the only ones I knew who were taken away to heaven 'jst like that'. Other than that, what are the other ways of reaching the other side? Quick as in an accident? Or slow as in a sickness? Sounds bleak. But that’s the reality. It’s no use thinking about that, but to enjoy each and every day of what we got and make it worthwhile.

Psalms 90:12 Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom

Difference?

"Come soon. We are waiting". "Are you coming?" Is there a difference between the two sentences? Yes, the tone, and the situation in which it is told does matter too. In the internet world, how about this. " hi" and "Hi! :) " See the difference? I've realised, that of all the things, one's mood is contagious. Meaning, I can spread boredom or energy. Irritation or excitement. Indifference or belonging. Poison or be a medicine in any relationship. Mom used to say about my face being a Coffee pot or a Tea pot.

In 2002, I had been to Gangaram, a popular book store in Bangalore with my friend. I don't remember what we picked, but all I remember is as I stood near the cash counter, the cashier, a 40-50 year old, looked at me and said, 'You have a beautiful smile'. You bet I was smiling the rest of the day and beaming the entire week! Even now, when I remember that incident, I can't help smiling, what a complete stranger can do to lift up my spirits even after all these years!

Acts 14:2 Poisoning of minds
Colossians 4: 6aLet your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt
1 Thess 4:11Therefore encourage one another and build each other up.

Comparison.. <>!

I have 2 naughty brats as nephew. However hard I try not to, I endup comparing their behaviour either good or bad. I have 3 brothers, and not even once have I heard my mom compare them. I haven't seen her compare anything/anyone for that matter. Be it in cleaniness, behaviour, studies, friends, relatives, our house, neighbours, our pets, our vehicle, our way of living, anything.

In this world where everything is relative, Logical, physical or emotional, its a wonder how she had no 'greater than', 'lesser than', 'shorter than', 'better than' or any superlative. I think it shows the strength of character. To see above the obvious and to treat everything/everyone unique, and with respect and accept them as they are.

When would I learn that?!

2 Corinthians 2 : 12a " When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise. "
17 "Let him who boasts boast in the Lord"

A Curse.

At church today, I saw a 3 year old kid, falling on him mom, hugging and kissing her left, right and center. It was so beautiful. But I wonder, after 20 years, will he sit by her, will he atleast hold her hands? Weird..

Oct 1st was Elder's day, and our church message revolved around that. HONOUR them, LEARN from them, and KEEP them happy. I learnt that it was a curse, not to have an elderly person at home! ( 1 Samuel 2: 31 ) Weird!

I guess parents are the only ones on earth we take for most granted. Their unconditional love. But it includes our aunts, uncles, in-laws as well. Weird.

I know many good friends, who stay far from home. They cook so well now, that they can entertain their friends with a feast! But have they ever entered kitchen, and helped their mamma? I also have friends, who have quit their job, to take care of their parents.

Elders sure turn into babies. They cant walk much, talk much, eat much,see or hear much. They cannot be still, neither can they understand us nor our world.Weird.

May God open our eyes, to see the value of our elders in our life. Lets HONOR them. Lets cherish them.

Exodus 20:12 'Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you '

Wise words

'No matter how much you earn, you can eat only 2 idlies. You can't eat 10 idlies, if you earn 10,000 a day. Can you? '

'All I ask of God is to help me live a pure ( holy) life. For others, I pray for their salvation. I don't ask God, for my needs. I just fix my eyes on Him. He is my Heavenly Father. He knows. He provides'

'I love giving God, by spending less for myself. I reduce my needs and wants, and I give that saving to God, which gives me immense pleasure, than the regular 20% tithe, I give to the Lord.'

Wise? Oh yes, these words were from the doctor, who took care of mom past few months.

Death.

I know it is such a gloomy title, but I want all of us to just shake it off, for afterall it is inevitable.

I remember even as a kid, when dad is confronted about his daily medicines, irregular eating habits, frequent travel, he always says 'Vaazhlvadhu sila vaara kaalam'- meaning 'few more weeks to live'. He talks as a matter of fact, and the phrase has been a household phrase which stuck for years now.

May be that had prepared us enough last week, so as to know, that death is gonna take us nextdoor, to a heavenly place, full of joy, running around, dancing, and lot of singing. Just without any pain, food, hardship. A more permanent place, than the present which is so temporary.

If that’s the case, am I ready? Ready to leave behind my friends, family. Have I told how much I love them, how much I appreciate their being in my life. Have I asked for forgiveness for my Meulah words/activities, have I reconciled with everyone. Have I obeyed my parents, elders? Have I taken care, cherished my family and friends? Have I used all my talents? Have I forgiven, Am I holding grudge or hurting anyone?

I am ready. Are you?

Standing Ovation

The hands that taught me to hold a glass/a pen, couldn't hold anything. The legs that walked me to School, couldn't even stand. The eyes that had a sparkle to it, was tear filled and half open. The mouth which taught me to talk, couldn't utter a word. The hands that had fed me, couldn't eat. It looked like my mom was in a total mess past week, but the courage she had showed for the past 11 years in fighting a terminal disease was above awesome.

She always had a smile for everyone. A hug and a kiss just when it is needed! She went one step ahead to help everyone, which is weird. She always appreciated little things in life, the flowers, the grass, the birds. She was so humble and behaved alike to everyone. She could never hold a grudge. She always forgave quickly and forgot the past. She motivated and encouraged with her powerful words, in season and out. She never got tired telling anyone what God had done for her, again and again and again and again. She found joy in everything around her. She had no enemies. She lived THE life, rather than setting rules for us to live. Her care and love for others was unconditional. She never expected anything back.

She was a miracle who taught me positive living, Christ centered in everyway. She lived as per her name. 'Amirtha' means goodness that keeps springing without getting dry. Yes, her love for her family, her friends, her collegues, her students, her neighbours, shopkeepers, maids, everyone who had seen her, had a story to tell. There were about 2000+ floating crowd to see her finaly. It was hard to see her still and stone cold, but I wonder, how big and huge the grand finale was when she entered Heaven. The bride meets the groom. I bet she got a standing ovation for putting on the good fight, and a steadfast faith.


"You welcomed her with rich blessings and placed a crown of pure gold on her head.
She asked you for life, and you gave it to her— length of days, for ever and ever."
Psalms 21:3-4
"I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith"
2 Timothy 4:7

Gratitude!

If you had read my prev blogs, you would know, that to cheer myself up, I often look at the skies, the shapely clouds, moon, bright flowers, swaying trees and even ripe tomatoes! They make me realise how wonderful the Creator is mindful of small things.

I realised last week, that if I have eyes, which don't need a specs/contact lens, or ears that dont need a hearing aid, nose which don't need oxygen mask or any help of inhalers, a mouth with no false teeth or an ulcer, a hand that has no shooting pain, a leg that needs no crutches or a swollen knee, a heart with no hole, or when I have no headache or when I am not taking any injections, when I am not taking ANY tablets, or when I have never stepped into a hospital for a month or so ( for me or my loved ones) I can be SUPER EXCITED! Instantly! :)

Breath of life

In our culture, the child sleeps with the mother till he/she is old enough for a separate room. I being the youngest, and being the only girl in the family and born when my mom was 40 years old, slept beside her till now.

I remember as a kid sleeping with my hand on her, I used to try match my breathing with hers. Hold my breath to exhale and inhale to go with the same rhythm.
Mom had breathing trouble and last week, as I was sitting by her bedside, watching her breathe through the oxygen mask, I tried to match mine with hers. It was erratic and I couldn't even last for few seconds.

Made me realise, how easily we take for granted the way we breathe? A nose with 2 holes, and the air, which we can't even see. But that's the only key to the life that holds us togethar, and how grateful we should always be.

I did have the priviledge to see my mom's breathing gradualy slow down, and as she breathed her last, well fought yet a peaceful one leaving the world for the Heavenly appointment.