Greek?

'Whoaaaww' I heard my niece exclaiming loudly. I did not turn around. I was typing something on my laptop. She brought my 7 yr old nephew along. And they both were talking in high pitched tones. Suddenly she closed my eyes. She said, ‘Keep on typing’. I stopped after few seconds, and turned around.

They both were giggling. I said, ‘What’s so funny!?’. Both were so excited, they were jumping around and talking at the same time. My niece, then stopped him and said, “YOU can type without seeing the keyboard!”

Oh really? That was news to me. Using the computers for years now, that I never realized I can type without seeing. I bet most of us do that with ease now. I still remember the time, when the keyboard dint make sense. Why dint they put all alphabets in the right order? Searching for each and every alphabet, seemed to take forever especially when you are in a hurry. how I need to extend my little finger and forefinger together to type something like ‘&’. I never learnt typing.

But now, it is so easy. If you ask me, I don’t think I can ‘say’ where each key is. But I ‘know’ where it is. Right from your password! Your finger just moves! It is quite irritating when you use another keyboard, or a different laptop, where your backspace or delete is all messed up. Or talk about using a Mac, where I am back to square one.

So, it leads me to conclude, that you learn, you adapt and you master it. Takes time, and probably effort and difficulty at the beginning. But then a piece of cake. Looking around, can you count the number of things we have learnt, adapted to, and are expert at?

OHOOOK!

I picked a book, out of sheer curiosity recently. “Power at the Bottom of the well”, Bottom of the well?? I flipped through it, it talked something weird about translational analysis, I was about to put it back, when something caught my eye.

It said, everyone of us have PAC Ego; Parent-Adult-Child ego in us.
P- Parent – That which we inherited from our parents, kind of a rule book. Do this, don’t do that.
A-Adult – Which analyses, understands, and decides based on the finding( much like a computer).
C- Child- which dreams, fantasies, fancies, feels, and responds – a bundle of emotion, faith, and child likeness.
We all have this inherent in us, and we show forth or act in a particular way. If you think Adult ego is the best, you are wrong. It has to be a blend of all 3 egos.

It also talked about 4 types of people.
1. I am ok, you are ok .
2. I am ok, you are not ok. (Prideful)
3. I am not ok, you are ok. ( inferior/self pity)
4. I am not ok, you are not ok. –(depressed)

What am I ? How do I react to others?

I wish I had more time to read it. I told my husband to read it, which I am sure won’t happen. So if you are on a look out for some crazy good books. This one sure, will make an interesting read.

Actions speak louder?

Not really! I was as surprised. ‘Actions speak louder than words’ is true, but more that that it is ‘Reactions speaks louder than Actions!’

Reactions! The first 10 seconds. Your eyes, your lips, your brows, forehead, your tone – reflects them. A reflex action!! You may do something, unwillingly. Without your heart. Without your desire ( do something u hate) without your mind in it. And it shows!

If you are snapping, growling, agitated, it shows. Like a mirror. You may look like an innocent kitten. But it does show! :) The tone with which you speak, reveals. The book said, the communication is 7% Words, 38% Tone of voice and 55% Non-words(Facial expression, Gesture, Posture) This is more true among families, than at work place.

Let the words of my mouth, and the meditations of our heart, be acceptable in your sight, our Lord our Redeemer. Psalms 19:14

The struggle within

This could be a bitter truth. But don’t I love bitterguard? :)

Its not just in corporate life, but in school and college life, girls/boys, men and women are dealt equally. In studies, in career, in sports, in every area of life, you see women on par with men. They compete, grow, and thrive togethar. Growing up with a house full of boys, or among friends, cousins or team, I never felt any different.

So, after marriage, I was in for a rude shock. When it dawned that I had to cook 3 times a day, 7 days a week, 52 weeks a year, and do all the household stuff with a smile, you can imagine the grumpy Meulah. The 'why me' factor set in, the world seemed unfair and the rebellious Meulah rose up.

Perplexed of how complex life could get, I get to read a book, which said clearly that marriage is definitely NOT a 50-50 proportion. I couldn't take 'man was not made for woman, but woman was made for man.' I corinthians 11:9 until I learnt the power of submission.
In this wide, wide, world, Order, Hierarchy, authority, harmony, boundary that we see in nature, creatures- trees, animals, birds,insects,leaves, music, orchestra,dance and in almost everything keeps the balance. Without which it would be a mess. This balance that we see is quite reassuring, that Everything is under God's supreme control and plan.

There is an order, a divine order, a boundary, lines are drawn - not by my husband, but by God himself. A sailboat in the rough seas, could survive the trip, if it obeyed the laws of sailing. If it fought against the wind, water and the storm, it sure will be broken beyond repair. But if it takes to herself the power of the tide and wind, they become it's own! She sails swiftly and beautifully. She is built for that and that defines her freedom - a choice, a discipline that doesn't stifle but gives power and beauty. Submission is not being a doormat, but accepting the divine order in obeying, respecting the man over me, which will help the boat sail smoothy following the rules of sailing (for which it was built ) instead of fighting against the rough seas. Obedience is no more a sign of weakness/ captivity than it was in Christ when he laid down his life for us- sinners.

Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. Ephesians 5:22.
Ladies, read 'Let me be a woman' - Elisabeth Elliot. It did good to me! Thanks to my dear friend who gave it to me. Apt time!

5-6 hrs!

If you had 5-6 hrs of electricity per day, how would it be? Can you imagine? No lights, no fans, no ac, no fridge, no mixie, no microwave. Nothing. Electricity only for 5-6 hrs the whole day!?

My bro had been to Jharkand last week where he had been to remote villages, which had no electic posts. No roads. No lights. No hotels. My jaw was wide open, does such land exist, in 21st century?

They had driven for 40kms where there were no roads. No buses. The public transport are vans which can carry 8-10 people, but transport 60-70 people. The ones on the roof have half ticket price. Most of the people, walk. Praveen said, never ask the localites for directions. They point directions as if it is a 1 km walk which usualy is 30 kms away. Without a map, and uneven dirt roads, they had a once in a lifetime experience, living like the localites. He said, he dint see a single person with a big belly. Not one. The people eat once a day. The eat rice.They eat lot of rice. ( 3 times the quantity that we eat)

In every village they go, they were warmly welcomed by pretty girls. They garland the visitors and wash their tired feet, with water. They live in bamboo huts, 1 room is clean, the other is a messy, as it has their wealth- cow, goat, chicken, pigs. They sleep, eat and live next to them.

Mosquitoes are the enemy- causing deadly cerebral malaria. My bro had to take medicines 3 week before and after, the 5 day trip. But I wonder how the people there live, survive, exist. Especially missionaries, who has seen the other side of the world and yet are committed and dedicated to help and improve those people' lives.

The house

We lived in a bungalow, aka 'The Haunted House' from '85-'92. It had about 11 rooms. Each room had minimun 4 doors, and the main hall had 6! We had to lock few doors permanently as it was so confusing. We laughed that if a thief breaks in, he wont know how to get out.


There were 10-12 trees surrounding the house. Probably 100 years old. HUGE trees. You cannot wrap your arms around them. You cannot see the house from the gate. It was covered with trees. There were wild bushes, and tall grass around the house, that it practically made the area a home for snakes. If you are lucky, you can spot them inside the house too :P We have killed lot of snakes inside and outside the house.


No wonder my mom HATED the house. And we kids, just loved it. THE best place for hide and seek. You will keep seeking and keep on seeking :P. It had a huge well. One side of the house was prohibited. Lot of tall grass and wild buses. You can find sweet boxes there, thrown by the family who lived above us. Boxes had dog poop! There were two dogs, they owned. Julie and Tiger. I was afraid of both of them. They were huge. There were 2 other bungalows on either side, with whom we talk only during Christmas. Those houses were as big and old and covered with trees. You hardly get to see or hear them.


Why this reminiscences tonight? Well, dad and me happened to go there, and we saw the house sans trees. The two bungalows on either side were demolished. A huge aparment complex was getting built on one, but our old house - the building was intact! We went inside 'our bungalow'. We met the rightful owners, and were too excited when they invited us in.

We had lived in that same house nearly 20 years ago. Each room brought back fresh memories. Mom yelling, brothers fighting, me crying. The tree house the boys had built and prohibited me from climbing was nowhere to be seen. The place was clean. No trees, they had neatly laid grass everywhere. The old building was painted, renovated, but still stood its ground. They said, to nail a nail, you need special hammer. The walls were 4 inch thick. The huge well behind, dint seem huge. It probably looked to be big then, because I was small ! Perspective!


I was so excited and happy to walk through each room, touch the same walls and doors. I thanked them for not destroying the old house. They laughed and promised me that I can bring my grandkids, and it will still be the same! Oh, how I wish it be the same!

Btw, dad was sharing about how you 'leave' a house, when the landlord asks you to vacate. You have to move, find another place to live. Its just like that with death. You leave your body, when it is time, and move to house that God has built for you in heaven. :)

John 14:1-3 My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? 3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.

ONE

A friend asked me if it was mandatory for Christians to read the bible and go to church on Sundays. I said, no and no. Its just that it is not meant as a ritual, but as a relationship. With someone you love. I told her how God refers the relationship as 'First Love' and expects to love, think/dream about, trying to please, spend more time, talk about anything and everything and give yourself completely without hiding anything. It is not out of fear, but of love the relationship strengthens.

I also told her, how incidentally that God refers to himself as a 'Bridegroom' and refers us his loving bride. He cherishes, loves, protects, and cares for us as a bridegroom would do a bride. I told her that its not that God resides in the Church, for he himself dwells in us, and says that we are the temple of God. The Holy God dwells in us, and how the 2 become one! The mortal sinful body, containing the all powerful God- because of what Christ did for us! Isn’t that amazing. I told her that we go to church for the fellowship with fellow believers.

I ended, wondering how I was able to believe and practice this tough concept but have difficulty to wrap my mind around this concept in real marriage! My pastor said, ‘Know that marriage is an outward expression of the inner works of God in your life’ and that means, all the things I learnt about forgiveness, love, kindness, gentleness, anger, selfishness, so far in my life, - the inner works of what God did to clean me in my life-the ultimate being/test is in marriage. Love in action, Forgiveness in action, gentleness in action, kindness in action. Patience in action, kindness in words! No wonder marriage is so very complex and difficult. Who says, go get married? My warning, to all those singles, you are getting into a jam. Dare if you like to be jammed. The REAL test. :)

Mother

I love my mom. I love her smiling lips, the twinkle in her eyes, her lovely giggle and chuckle shaking all over, when she laughs. She fed me not only as a kid, but even in my mid 20s! Early morning, breakfast ( mostly idli) was from her hands, while I combed my hair, rushing to office. I remember how cranky I was, running around and evading, and shouting,' I am full, that's enough!'. I remember, how she used to force me to eat the 4th idli- even while I am putting on my shoes, and running even to the gate, pleading, just one more mouth full.

Before stepping out, she said a quick word of prayer ( which I so insisted to be short! ) and I gave a quick hug and a kiss on her cheeks saying goodbye. This was our ritual. I realised how much I missed that last week. Sathish mom reminded me of her. She is almost the same. Forcing me to eat that 4th idli, and ensuring she prays over me, before I step out to work. I praise and thank God, for the hug and kiss I get from /give my mother (-in law). It is a blessing and I am so grateful to my Lord, for giving her to me.


She is a brave woman, who had studied till she was 52, a teacher, a hard worker raising 6 kids, and a Godly woman who wakes up early and sings loud and ensures we have a family prayer in the morning and ofcourse at night too. I dono if she loves cooking, but she cooks all the time, asking and cooking what each one likes and wants. ( which keeps her in the kitchen all the time) . I have not hear her complain or grunt, which I would do even at the slightest displeasure, if someone doesnt eat what I cook. Her love, hardwork and effort and PATIENCE is something I don't think I can ever match. She can cook any dish - any request /desire made - at ANY time! She is different from my mom, definitely different! I don't think I can, nor can/will even try to be like her!

Oh yes, my mother cannot be replaced! But God has taught me that if you are willing, he gives you mothers. Cathy, Janet and now my mother in law! Oh, how nice to be loved and cherished, and oh yeah, pampered :)

My comb!

My family will easily recognize this. It is MY blue comb. No one can use it. No one will. I have used it for more than 4 years. My mom hated it so much to the extend, she threatened she would hide/throw it away! She wanted me to use this only to remove the tangles and then use a fine comb to comb by long hair. But where do I have all that leisure time? I had no time, that I was combing my hair on the way to work, in the car pool. Now I have been banished to comb hair in my car, owning to the fact, I am donating all my hair in the car.

Now back to the comb story! My family turns into a search party every morning. I keep losing my blue comb. I have been so used to it, that without that, I can’t comb my hair at all! So we all search. The best finders are my mom, dad and niece. They seem to know exactly where I left. ( My husband is joining the club soon) Without doubt I get scolded everytime they find it.( except from my niece). So what makes me write this? Well, I lost it this weekend, I found that I lost on Sunday morning, getting ready for Church. After church I searched, and couldn’t find anywhere. Being a small home, it is easy to find things, and when I dint find it, I thought I missed it in the car or at office on Saturday. I felt bad. More than 4 years, and I lost it? No matter how much I pacified my heart, my mind kept thinking about it.

Monday I find it in my purse! You can’t believe the happiness I had, when I saw the blue thing! I would have yelled on the top of my voice. But thankfully I couldn’t. I was in the railway station, trying to get something out from my purse. ( I swear I looked into the purse more than 20 times this weekend) Anyway, what is even more strange is that, the same weekend, I had lost my debit card. I dint look for it till now. Dad called and said I had got a letter from the bank with the card and enquired if I lost anything. I said no, and looked into my purse.. I had not had my debit card for past 4-5 days! And I can tell you I wasn’t panicking. But praise God, the account was intact.

Soaking wet and bubbling!

It was the usual busy morning, 7.40 AM I was running to catch my carpool. . The moment I stepped outside, I was pleasantly surprised. There was no sun. There was a cool breeze. It was cloudy, dark skies. I should have worried if it would rain, I had no umbrella, but today I was not. My cell phone beeped. More bad news, my car pool friend on leave. Now I have to take a motorbike, a bus and an auto to reach office! 3 modes of transport, probably 90 mins of travel.

I had all the reasons to be grumpy. ( I was cranky at home, and dint even talk to Sathish this morning) But things changed, in a second. I was happy. I was excited. The wind blowing made me happy and I started thanking God singing, ‘Thank you Lord for such a beautiful day, reminds me of the love you gave to me, I wanna reflect your love to the people that I meet, today!’ Everyone on the road was in a hurry ( afraid it would pour- coz it was really dark lowlying clouds!) But I was smiling, I was relaxed, and going pretty slow, enjoying the ride. I said, I don’t wanna miss this beautiful weather! The wind was ghostly. It pushed all the mud and dirt in the air. I couldn’t open my eyes to clearly to see the road. I had sand in my eyes. But still I was singing. ( It got me wondering, what got into me!)

It started pouring half way through. I was wet. Soaking wet. Our roads need just a 5 mins constant rain to have puddles all over the road. It was muddy water. I had to leave my vehicle, jump the puddles and wade through dirty water to catch the bus. God sent a good bus at the right time. I was happy to get a seat. But only to find the seat was wet too. My hair was so wet, my clothes were wet, and my heart was bubbling.

Now I know no matter what, God can give you the best attitude, to give thanks in all circumstances for that is God’s will for me in Christ Jesus. I also know, that my mood affects others. People at home, people at work. If I am happy, it reflects. If I am sad, it shows. If I am angry, it blows. If I am bubbly, it overflows! So its all me now. What I choose to be in Christ!

Bubble!

Ever felt like walking inside a bubble.? The reality doesn't sink in? Looking back, I have felt that many times in my life. But here are the most important that I remember.

Two years back, when mom was sick, I was active, responsible and strong. 3 Characters which I never had. I was doing things which I would never do. After mom's death I was still in a bubble. Unhurt, unsinged, brave.

I felt I was in a bubble again at the altar with Sathish. For a brief moment, I took a step back, and thought what on earth am I doing?' Marrying a stranger, a huge leap of faith. Is this for real? Reality dint strike, with all the hype on makeup, the attire, the camera, the family, friends... But I knew it was in the bubble.

21st Sept should have been etched in my heart. But thanks to my memory I forgot. It was my mom's 2nd death anniversary, and we were at the same hospital, the same day for Sathish. He had terrible stomach pain and was vomitting the whole day. We admitted him for the night. I was not troubled. I realised I was inside the bubble once again.

The bubble is the term am using for the protection I have, like that of the soap advertisement, where you are covered completely, and no amount of dirt can touch you. It is the safe haven amidst the trouble. I am glad, I have been inside one all my 3 decades of life. Safe and sound in the weird wide world. Covered and protected by the blood of Christ.

Luke 13:34 'as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings'.

The heart to write...

Sometimes.. just sometimes you feel like writing... you have so much, that you have to write it down. The thoughts just flow and flow, no matter what you do, you feel energised to write, that you just grab a notepad and type, or type directly as blog.

I disliked the way fb status said 'What is on your mind?' What does it think it is? Poking into private minds.. and yes, definitely many of my friends, me included gave in and wrote what was on our minds. So it is a weird state of mind, that wants to spit everything out..even though on fb something may be completely irrevelant.

Writing blogs is interesting. I write for myself. None of my brothers, or anyone in my family read my stuff. ( I guess that's good, coz I can write whatever I want!) I have made good blog friends, those I have not even met. It does feel good. But there are lean times, when you don't feel like writing. But I take heart in the fact, coz, when I do, I can't stop! I remember getting up at night, turning on the laptop to post something. When mom was sleeping next to me, I remember scribbling in the dark on a paper. I call that as my writing spree!

Yippeee am on one now. Linking blog with facebook.. not sure how good that is.. coz now, many of my friends get to read and comment.. So I guess that's good :)

I thank you Lord, I feel so good, for every single cell in my body is fine!

Flexible??

I thought I was quite flexible type.. You know what I mean. Can adjust to things, new environment, new people. And of course food, weather, lifestyle. To add to my pride, many of friends, entertained the same idea. Oh you, beulah, you can manage! But am I really?


We were in a store, getting kitchen stuff, when I was insisting on getting a particular kind of dish( vessel) for milk, spoon, glass. Sathish would pick one, and I would say, No NO! NOT that, lets take this one. He would have an enquiring look as to ‘Why?’, and I would reply that’s the way we had it at home! I realized, how picky I was when we left the store. I had a bag full of stuff - MY way! And what was I so particular about?? A spoon? Where is my experimental, adjusting brain??

It continued in the cooking too. Sathish loves cooking, and for someone who hates it AND demands her own way, it is really bad to consider herself 'the queen of the kitchen'. Sathish kept a distance. I cooked my mom’s way. It was always 'We did it this way....My mom taught me this way.... We used it like this only'.

I wonder where my flexibility had gone!

Why not rather be wronged? I Corinthians 6: 7

The ultimate test!

While finishing school, I was just happy, I won’t have Quarterly, Halfyearly, Annual exams. But College was a different story. So while finishing College, I was just too happy no more Semester exams, and resolved not to go for any higher studies. So no more test, no more exams.

Well, I was terribly wrong! At work today, we have to take 2 certifications every year. You have to clear them, or your promotion, hike are questionable. Its been 4 years in this company, and God has been graceful to help me complete each year.

I also thought I was doing good.. Till last month. The ultimate test. Whatever you learnt, read, taught, wrote(in blog!), thought, well it’s all put to test every day. EVERY SINGLE DAY! It feels like, God said, Oh yes, I know you are good and want to be good, and you have been good at it so far. Now is the time to put it to the ultimate test! I can’t wait to clear this every day! (there is no escape!)

Roller coaster!

I love the rollercoaster. I have friends, who at the sight of it, cringe back and say a big NO. Last ride I went on my own, was at a huge theme park. 4 of my friends stayed back. I went alone, and was dying to go back again. :P

Yes, the safety is questionable. Imagine one of the bolt gives away and u fly away! ZOOM and a THUD, CRASH, BOOM! Haha.. Sounds funny. On a serious note, I agree rollercoaster are one of the wild rides. Just the look of it, and the noise makes yr adrenalin pump, and your guts wrench.. But I guess that’s the thrill of it.

Oh life has become a roller coaster. You go zooooooom, zip, splash, and a wroooom,whoosh, zoooooom. Unexpected, exciting, thrilling, scary, weird, head spinning, adrenalin pumping, stomach churning, mind boggling… Oh boy this phase is weird.. It’s bad that nobody tells you what's involved.. and you have to go through it on your own to know it all! Its definitely not the old cozy spot! But new and different in everyway.

I have one big consolation, that I know the manufacturer of the rollarcoaster, the faithful one who put me on it the first place! So I just have to relax and enjoy the new ride!

Discovery!

The best person to know all about me, is me! - This is what I had always thought. But past week has been a revelation of I, me, myself. Stranger still, it takes another person to discover the real me.

Chapter 2 has been different in every way. I had thought, it would be little different, but never thought that it will be a 180 turn in every way. Spiritually, emotionaly, physically, and mentally. Chapter 2 is different, way too different from Chapter 1. Apart from discovering each day more about me and Meulah, there has been lot to life, which I had been utterly unaware of all these years.


Its been a secret. Yes, a profound mystery. Definitely, indeed! In every way! I know there is more ahead. But one thing is for sure, God who made my Chapter 1 exciting and adventurous is going to be with me in Chapter 2. Though it is little scary, I think with faith I can say, ' I am game'.

Dove tail joint!

We had a class in carpentry during Engineering and one of the joints we did was Dove tail joint. This joint is little complex and demands utmost precision. Both the wooden parts are pretty different. Infact they are completely different. But they have to be so, to make a strong joint.

Past few weeks, I was reminded of it along with a story I had read some 10- 15 years back ( in Guidepost!) . A lady was preparing to stitch a blouse, and was cutting the cloth into pieces for the arms. She was pondering in her heart why she and her spouse were so different from each other. She was so lost in thought, that she realised a little too late, that she had cut the left and right arms of the blouse as the same left side. Now those two pieces were completely useless and were unfit for the blouse. God taught her that day, that only 2 different - left/right arms of a cloth can make a blouse!


A dear friend of mine, commented once, that her spouse was custom made for her. Intrigued, I had asked what that meant as hers was a forced marriage, without her consent. She replied, God is good all the time, and he is in complete control of all his children's life, and that her spouse has been the kind that she had prayed for.

I am so glad, that God has full control of our life, and that though different as each block of the dove tail, he ensures it is a custom made joint. Strong and perfect for each other- specially and uniquely built by the master carpenter.

Yoked!

They talked about yoke at church. I have never seen a yoke closely( I guess). So here's the google version.






Yoke is heavy, hard and difficult to have around your neck! Imagine being tied to something like that. But in reality, we do have lot of things tied up in our minds. Worry, fear, anger, addiction, money, control, fame, power. Something that is tied so hard, that it actually takes a toll on us. They tie 2 bulls to the yoke. Mostly- 1 strong and the other weak, or 1 experienced and other new. The stronger experienced bull, leads and guides the way and the weaker one follows and learns.


In our life, we either have cares of this world, or God as our yoke. If we have cares of this world, they sure get stronger and lead u astray. But if we have God, he took away the worry, pain, all the sin, punishment on himself, and now the burden is on him, that the yoke he gives is easy and light.




All we have to do, is have his yoke, and follow him. A faith walk, without sins or burdens. and what do we get, the bible says, we are 'Holy' , ' Righteous', filled with fullness of Christ'. Isn't it too big a title for me!
I hope I don't get bull headed and pull to my own way!

Are you yoked? btw, to what/whom? What's pressing you now?

Matthew 11:28-30
28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

The book I love!

Name a kid, who doesn't love comics? That's how I started my first Bible. It was a picture bible, with pictures and dialogues in comics style. I loved that Bible, read it from cover to cover. Even now, the images or visuals of many of the characters or stories in my mind, are those from that Bible.Dad was working on a picture bible for tribals, without any language so he had collected lot of picture bible for his drawing reference. So my next bible was a LARGE Children's Bible. That was the age, when my favorite books were Hardy boys, Nancy Drew and Enid Blytons. The children bible fonts were huge just like the story books, that I read them like a story! ( I was probably 9 or 10 )

Looking at the way, I was reading the Bible, my mom and dad gave me a Gideon's Bible to read. I found it very hard to understand. The language, the font, the format were all so different from the Bible I loved. To make it worse I dint understand a thing. So my mom told me to read the Tamil bible parallely.

It was this time, that I made a friend with a book lover. We exchanged Hardy boys, Nancy Drew. She was a voracious reader. She would finish the book in an hour, whereas I would take 3 hours. We decided to read the bible togethar, and boy oh boy it was fun. We finished completely in English ( KJV) and Tamil, again and again may be 10 or more times, that we lost count. To tell the truth I don't think, if I really understood the meaning, I read it like a story book. Enjoyed the History books; gospels, dragged through the prophets, skim read the epistles perhaps. But it was fun to read togethar. Many words in both Tamil and English bounced off my head, but I just wanted to finish reading the whole bible, from beginning to end.

Then dad bought me a study Bible and my brother a Student's bible. I loved it at first sight. There was no columns like a traditional bible, the font was big. Moreover the language was very simple- the story book kind. I understood the meaning, I enjoyed reading it, I underlined,took notes. I woke up at 4 everyday, and spent time with God. I was young, probably 12-14, and that's when I started having a personal relationship with God, and learnt the power of the cross, about HolySpirit, about God's love. During family prayer, me and brother asked a lot of questions to dad. What this means, why so, how did it happen. Hearing and then reading from the Bible, was an amazing feeling. I then moved on to a 1 year bible, and then I often got back to my big old study bible. It is so bulgy, and old, with lines all over the pages! But I love it! Its been more than 10-15 years since I used it, but still get back to it to find some verses, coz I know which page, which side, and what color pen i had used to underline a particular verse! My favorite verse was Gal 6:14 and my favorite book was James!

My friend introduced me to Philip Yancey's book. Oh, how I loved them. By then, my mom had restricted me from reading all novels ( it was school exam time) So I stuck to only Bible and a little of Christian books. In college, my craze was on John Grisham's book, but when I realised my QT was reducing, I decided to stop reading all novels until I bring my QT steady. The same rule applied for any spiritual book. So these days, only when my QT is full and overflowing, I read any other Christian books/magazines! Works well for me!

Just as left is to the right!

Some habits are ingrained in your mind, that you do it automatically, without any thoughts. I was bumping into people, while walking in the hallway/corridor at work. My client manager called that a lil Indian dance. The problem was, I was taught to walk to the left, and my manager was taught to walk to the right. So when we meet in the corridor, am undecided, and move to the left and then to the right. Total mess. Now you got the dance?

In India, and I think even in UK, people keep to the left- on road, walkways, corridors etc. I had to learn and make a conscious effort to walk to the right. It was hard, to unlearn something you have learnt from childhood. But human mind is adaptable. You learn things and then learn to unlearn things. I had to, once I reached India. I was bumping into people again! I was walking to my right in the corridors, hallway of our office, railway stations, on the roads. I consciously tuned my mind to walk to my left. My short trip to Detroit, made it even worse. I was doing the Indian dance.

I wrote this couple of months back. Now its even more clear. Certain things are different. Just as left is to the right. Its better we learn, adapt, unlearn, and adjust than to change the environment we are in. We cannot expect things/people/environment to change, coz its different! - Just as left is to the right!

Pine Cones!

My bro literally laughed out loud, when I opened my bag. I had blamed him, for the TSA had broke open my lock and had checked my bag after I had checked-in in Detroit Airport. ( I had got clay for Praveen, and I assume, they thought it was an explosive? Dono why, I have had 3 security incidents in the past 7 days in 3 different airports!)

My bro, laughed seeing all the pine cones I had brought. While going for a walk around my hotel, the lil pine cones fascinated me, that I picked few of them to my room. While vacating my room, hated to leave them and brought them along. In addition to that I got few from Cathy's home as well. Never realised that I had 15 pine cones! All the way from Houston, Detroit and now in the hot Chennai! ( and other cities on transit ;P)

If you had known me 20 years earlier, you wouldn't be surprised. Me and my friends collected stones 'precious stones' as we called, any pebble, colored stone or funny shaped stone was in our school bags. Yes, we also collected feathers. My favorite one was a greenish red parrot feather- a gift for my birthday from my friend. We stuck them in a collection album ( I did no stamp collecting!)

As my co-worker in Detroit, says, these days I have a thing for leaves and flowers. Every lil, big leaf or flower ends up pressed up in Bible. Everyday it reminds me of an awesome God who took time and care for such simple leaf, which is here today and gone tomorrow.

It also tells me that we don't have to go the Niagara or the Mt.Everest or the Swiss to be stunned by the beauty. All it takes is that we look down, on the grass and the teeny weeny wild flowers. So I got to see the purple crepe myrtle of Houston, the White Dogwood of Detroit, the pretty yellow tree in the sun scorching Delhi ( I spotted nearly 10 of them!) or the cotton puffed cloudy skies of Chennai! Seems God has put us in one HUGE BIG school. All we need are eyes of my 3 yr old nephew, whose eyes would light up, if he sees snow, or mine, when I get inside a huge icecream shop. But most of the times, we just shut our eyes so tight, that we miss all the fun!

Btw, bro said that I can find those pinecones in Ooty! I love them anyway. ( I still got no idea what to do with so many of them, if you have a bright plan, do lemme know!!)

Helpdesk

I called the helpdesk. I was in a hurry and was furious when I couldn’t check my webmail.They resolved it in few mins.

Few hours later, I had a question and was wondering if I should raise a request online or call the Claims desk. A 888 number. I dialed. After just 1 ring, a guy picked up. He not only answered my question, but gave lot more useful details. I thanked him and said how surprised I was to be responded quickly. I asked ‘where are you located?’. The guy responded Bangalore.

After the call, it made me wonder, how nice to have someone respond so quickly and clearly as if I were talking to a teammate who sits next to me. Its hard to believe, but I know for certain if I call now there will be someone to respond, across the seas, wide awake at the middle of their night, with a cheerful voice, and a great attitude.

If I am so sure and confident about man/a company/its policies ( which is now there and may not be tomorrow), how much sure I can be of a God who indwells in me, and is working in me. If only I would call him all the time!

Paid!

We got this badge this afternoon at work. Our client had paid off 7+ Billion dollars loans they had taken. Well, it was a time of celebration! We got more than 2 emails, there were couple of PA announcements, and the ceo talked at noon to all the employees. More than a 2000 gathered for that brief 15 min talk. There were hi fis, hugs and smiles all around. and yes we all got that badge.

Looking at that red 'PAID', I couldn't help myself smile, and imagine how jubilant we all should be everyday, for yes He paid in full with his blood, that I now have eternal life, an abundant life! What a relief! No matter, what we go through in this fallen world, it never matters! Coz, he has finished the deal. What hope, and strength and faith we can draw on that fact, to live inspite of all the struggles. Yippeee! PAID in FULL!

Ezekial's wife

'With one blow I am about to take away from you the delight of your eyes. Yet do not lament or weep or shed any tears ' Ezekiel 24:15.

And Ezekiel loses his dear wife! And he wasn't even allowed to mourn! 'Groan quietly, and do not mourn for the dead.' That took me by surprise, I never knew Ezekial wife died this way. When we talk about loss, we talk about only Job. But here is Ezekial, losing his beloved wife in probably 8-10 hrs. Just like that. He was made as a sign! (v 24) why? That 'then they will know that I am the Lord'.

This phrase 'then they will know that I am the Lord' appears 53 times in the Bible, and all of it from this book! In whole of Ezekial, God pours his love and passion on Israel in so many different ways. If only Israel would listen. It is just the same now. If only 21st century(we) would listen.

This story, also makes me wonder, will I be like Ezekiel and be ready to be a sign, no matter what that takes?

Let go

Mom thought I had real nice long fingers, fit to play the piano. ( I was a teen then) She made me go for piano class near home. More than learning music, I was eager to go to the class early and wait. Why? My teacher has a stack of Guideposts on her living room. I used to be a voracious reader then, and loved reading that magazine.

Below is a poem I read one day, that has stuck with me all these years. You probably have heard me say this as a story more than 100 times ( with exaggeration and a lil twist). But here it is again, believing that this lesson on trust that I learnt more than 15 years ago, which had imbibed in me ( inspite of my terrible memory), will also help you in your walk and that I won't ever forget again.

As children bring their broken toys,

With tears, for us to mend;

I brought my broken dreams to God,

Because he was my friend.

But then instead of leaving him,

In peace to work alone,

I hung around and tried to help,

With ways that were my own.

At last, I snatched them back and cried,

"How could you be so slow?"

"My child," He said, "What could I do?

You never did let go...."

Poem's called 'Broken dreams/broken toys/let go and let God.' Looks like my memory is not bad after all!

Jammed.

Thanks to my carpool friend, who took leave today, I had to take the train to office. Nothing had prepared me for what I experienced. I knew it would be crowded, but not to that extent. I did not have to ‘get into’ the 7.40 AM train, People behind me, just pushed me into it. The complete 60 min travel, was a sandwich of human bodies.

Fortunately I found a place to stand, leaning against the wall of the seat. But I quickly found it was a wrong place to stand. People getting in and out automatically, magically move in and out. And you have to be flexible yet be rooted like a wall, to prevent being swept away into the current. I could smell the shampoo of a girl in front of me. And what was that? Body lotion or deodorant? It smelt good. Her hair was brushing against my nose. I couldn’t blame her. She was sandwiched by 6 women, whereas I was by just 3.

With nothing to do, all you could do is observe. Curly hair, short hair, long flowy hair, big eyes, squint eyes, blunt noses, sharp nose, cute earrings, bracelets. Sad eyes, scared face, worried eyebrows, Tired faces, Anxious faces. There were college students, school kids and ofcourse, my fellow co-workers.
Learnt one thing for sure. When things corner you, against your will, it sure is hard, yucky and painful. But you get to see things you have never seen before. Especialy from someone's else shoes.
Heard this at church today, that sometimes God puts you in a pressure cooker. You know what happens to the chicken inside? The meat comes off the bones. Sometimes God gives us pressure cooker situation, for a total surrender to God. To humble and remind us of his might, power and love and beauty!

Know that you know?

I couldn't stand it any longer. How can he get away with every nasty thing he does?! Not fair at all. He can break things, throw things, crumple a book, tear a paper, shout and scream when he want to, and does any body stop him? All that I have been hearing is, 'Oh, it is ok, he doesn't KNOW it is wrong. He doesn't KNOW anything' Ha! Anything? I know he is a brat. If he can throw temper tantrum, when he doesn't get what he wanted, and put on that cute face and do something that he is not supposed to, with such a lovely smile? You can see Meulah writing this. Meulah or Beulah, its all the same.

I was reading 1 John. Well, Adam, in his terrible two can do get away. But not Beulah.
Whoever says, “I know him,” but does not do what he commands is a liar, and the truth is not in that person. 5 But if anyone obeys his word, love for God is truly made complete in them. This is how we know we are in him: 6 Whoever claims to live in him must live as Jesus did. ( I John 2:4-6 FULLSTOP. Aint that pretty clear and straightforward?
He goes on to say, 'I do not write to you because you do not KNOW the truth, but because you do KNOW it and because no lie comes from the truth.'v21. No one needs to teach me about anything, because, God with me, teaches me about all things!v27 ( How I wish I only listen!)

21 It would have been better for them not to have known the way of righteousness, than to have known it and then to turn their backs on the sacred command that was passed on to them. 22 Of them the proverbs are true: “A dog returns to its vomit,” and, “A sow that is washed returns to her wallowing in the mud.” II Peter 2. Now that's a warning!

What's that stench?

I entered my apmt an hour back, and couldn't even breathe. The stench was so bad. I turned on the AC. ( Its 47F/8C outside), finaly I had to open the door, and let the cool air in to take the stench out. So what was that stinking smell. The trash can was empty. Did I leave any leftover food on my coffee table. No. Toilet? No. It was really sickening as I had company. My friend looked over the kitchen and said, that's where it comes from.

Strange. For I haven't been cooking regularly.Yes, there were few dishes, that I had not washed and were in the sink. After my friend left, I decided to see if she was right. She sure was. There were not much dishes. I just finished washing them. Took 10 minutes to wash them all. But they had remained there for...errr... 4 days, leading to that yucky smell.

Lesson learnt: Never let your dishes pile up. No procrastination. God reminded me of my quiet time. It was seriously getting shrunk. I once had my alarm at 6.15. Now I get up at 7. It won't take long before my life gets yucky and stinking. Good wake up call.

Love and Respect

"Women need love.Men need respect.It's as simple and as complicated as that.— Emerson" This is on their home page of www.loveandrespect.com. So simple and clear, but why does so many marriages fall apart? I read further.

LnR is rooted from Ephesians 5:33. A verse that I have had trouble with before. Lady respect your husband? Why not vice versa? I never realised that men regard repect more than love. Kind of weird.

Yes, love and trust are required equally by both. "Though we all need love and respect equally, the felt need differs during conflict, and this difference is as different as pink is from blue! " Conflict! that makes the difference! Aha! More than 70% responded that way states the website.

"A woman needs love like the air she needs to breathe. A man needs respect like the air he needs to breathe." It goes on to say, that they are connected to an air hose to a respect/love tank. When you step on the air hose, ahem you are choking the person!

"Unconditional respect is as powerful for him as is unconditional love is for her." Understanding it and practicing it through the Crazy\Energising\Rewarding Cycle does take time. The simple step towards it is, 'if you have bitterness or boredom or a conflict, trace back to see if you did anything in an unloving/disrespectful way. Set it right by giving 'unconditional love and respect'! ' Some wisdom! All the best to my married friends!!