Saturday, March 21, 2015

Never the same

I never  like sitting on the floor,  cross legged.  My eldest brother loves it.  Not me.  Lying on the floor was also not my cup.  And so were host of other things  like getting up early or in the middle of the night.

It all changed.  Abruptly.  No notice.  Doc had said all Indian way of life,  squatting, and others were good for normal delivery.  But even then I wasn't into it.

What came after the baby,  is THE change any girl experiences.  It starts with  sleepless nights.  You are awake every 2 hrs.  You multi task.  Feed and clean the poop.  You juggle with  the diaper, hands and legs.  You can choose a dress in a wink of the eye. 

Then comes the gymnastics. You sleep in the very edge of the bed.  You get up carefully not to wake the baby.  You sit on the floor and get up 100 times to get water,  food,  diaper,  change of clothes and Other million things.  You become  a doctor.  Give medicines,  though you yourself can't stand them.  You can with stand the scream of an hungry baby,  angry kid,  hurting kid. Which  otherwise you wouldn't even turn your head.  A slight movement of a baby can wake you up.  As silly as a mosquito bite can keep  you awake for hours and make you into a hunter all night.

Going out is a project.  You plan,  make a list of things to take for even a restaurant,  the baggage you carry can be overwhelming.  Spoons,  water,  flask,  toys,  diaper,  change of clothes and a million thing.  And you are sure to forget some important thing. For someone who likes to stuff everything into a Jean,  so as to not carry a handbag.  Well,  that's life!

It's funny how you see yourself evolve into something so different. I have cut my hair,  prefer a nightie which I used to hate,  can nibble on any leftovers, sleep for 4 hours a day - every day and not even complain. 

I now spend say 6-7 hrs at home awake.  Do I spend quality time.  No.  Am exhausted and don't even do justice to Amy.  I am my old self at office I think,  and I can't actually claim never the same.  But I guess I have changed a lot after Amy and I bet all mothers do.  Priority changes,  choices,  decisions, plans.  Almost every thing  in your life.

Guess God's plan to think less of yourself starts at motherhood.

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