2019

Looking back, the year started with so many meds. Injection and weekly doc visit. Was tiresome, with two school going kids. Thankfully my work area was lean.

MFL was unexpected! I was sure my better half won't be interested..but God had other plans. He helped us complete the entire 13 week marriage course! Without a break and with a growing belly! It was a transformation in our life. He also is helping us take part in their chain prayer every month. It helped us set right some of the basic foundation in marriage and helped us trust each other more and see many things in different light.  He also rescued us as family from 3 of the accidents on road!

Our third baby girl is a surprise too! All healthy and safe. Docs had said it was a high risk pregnancy and my knee pain, hidradenitis suppravativa,  back ache, age factor all were taken care of by God. Can't thank God enough, as I cuddle her and hold her close.

My girls surprisingly have taken a good welcome of their lil sister. They both adore her. Though they fight like Tom and Jerry, I am yet to see that with lilybel.

Though much disappointed, my hubster has been comforted by God about having a 'boy' and those conversations have reduced a lot.

Our God sent, 5 + years maid was able to return back from January, after her health issues. Though she isn't able to do,all that she used to do, having her around is such a comfort. When her mil was sick and dying, 'God sent mil 'was with me during those precious first months of lilybel. God does know the end from the beginning...

Musically God helped me join Acapella class at office! Isn't that amazing to have teacher at work, teaching every week! During ML , again God is helping me learn guitar and Amy is learning keyboard! Praise be to God!

And so my heart is filled with thanks and praise for all that he's doing in our lives.

He commands his Angels ahead

I remember friends asking how will you manage after the baby when Amy was in tummy. She was due in Jan. It was blur after December. I had no idea how, but I was so sure , God will take care. And he did. I had many people ( elders) with me,  filling in my mom's place. I never once missed mom. So I was more confident with second pregnancy...and when it came to the third, I was so confident,.. though everyone had their doubts of how I will manage.

God showed off his might and he has led me this far. Like a puzzle God seemed to provide the lights for the way. Just enough for one step forward.
I had to be admitted in hospital 2 days before due to gestational diabetes. I had sil stay with me and on the day, when I was sore and couldn't get up or move, I had God sent Joyce stay in those precious moments! She with 2 kids and her youngest was too small to be left at home...but God clearly paves way isn't it? Her mil and her sisters let her stay those two nights( weekend) with me. Looking back, maybe that's why God pushed the surgery date to a Saturday? We'll, well, well,I can't help but thank God for everything he's done and doing in my life!

And this gives me courage that he who had thus far, will help us raise the trio in Godly love and fear. No matter, how crazy are days are filled with, and me losing my energy, voice and bubble, I know God will help me bounce and keep me bouncing!

Praise ye the Lord!

Rescue 3&4&5

We had just come back from hospital. Lilybel was few days old. The girls were excited and it was difficult to keep their hands off of the baby.

Andrea had some fruits in a porcelain plate and was eating with a fork in the bed. I was nursing the baby..and Amy was jumping from one bed to another. They were turning a deaf ear to my warning not to jump or bring food to the bed. The thotil was on one side of bed and Amy was using it to swing from one bed to another. I most of the time end up enjoying their craziness, and save any effort from getting angry and screaming.

I was actually helpless. I needed help yo get up and walk...my stitches were still sore..I had no energy to scream. That would be a more apt statement. That is when it happened. Amy was swinging from one bed to other and returning back, when she lost balance and hit Andrea on the head with her legs. Both girls tumbled near my feet. Had they fallen on me, lilybel would have been crushed. Andrea hit her head on the bed frame. The porcelain plate crashed into pieces. The fork did not poke anyone! It was only miracle that all of us escaped unscathed.

The girls were too shocked to cry.  I can't thank God enough for protecting us all!

Rescue 4:
It was 10 days after surgery. I was at the doc's to get my stitches removed. My friend had said it was just a 2 minute work. Won't be painful at all. The doctor was talking to me while removing, that she instead of pulling the thread out, she cut both ends. She realized what she did in a second,but it was too late. There was panic in the room. Frantic search for other tools to try to get the now stuck stitch from my lower abdomen was futile. There was tense discussion between the nurses. The doc went out to call a surgeon. After the call, doctor tried to get it out, but wasn't successful. She said, it won't be trouble if it is left inside after all it's a small thread. She then said, can you come again, to xx hospital. We'll have the surgeon see you,himself.

As I was sitting there, the gravity of the issue hadn't really sunk in. Something simple had gotten complex. Doctor had tried her best. She called the hospital herself and made an appointment over phone. For me. She asked that it should be his first appointment and said she'll come at that time as well. Everything happened so fast... I somehow was not scared or worried. Nothing is difficult for God and it didn't happen without his knowledge. The doctor left. Lilybel was crying, so nursed her and was booking for ola.to get back home. One of the nurses came and asked if I can wait for few more minutes. A senior nurse wanted to see me. Thinking doc had asked so, I said ok. It took another hour for the nurse to come. I was tired, and wanted to lie down.
After an hour, I told the nurse that I can't wait too long. I can wait for 10 more.minutes and then I'll book ola .she said ok. After 10m with no sign of.nurse, I booked ola. And who rushes in after 5 mins? The head nurse! She quickly took me inside and had it checked out. She said it will hurt a little, just bear it . And in 1 min, she took it out! Just like that. It hurt a little, but it was a miracle she got it out, when doc couldn't. And God had been merciful to this undeserved sinner! I took the same booked ola! Isn't he amazing!

Rescue 5:

Lilybel was in thotil sleeping. Our maid akka was on leave. Me and athai were in kitchen, me cleaning vessels and athai chopping vegetables...we heard lilybel slightly whimpering. Knowing she's waking up, before I could wash my hands and go get her, we heard a loud thud and her crying her heart out. My mil was the first to rush and lift her. She had tried to turn over n thotil and she fell over. Praise God, the mosquito net held her head high! But her rest of the body was on the floor, but inside the net! My mil was in tears as she took the lil one out. It was God's grace, she was unscathed.
Praise be to God for his faithfulness and protection all throughout the day and year!

2=1

When I did this poster, I was all in cloud 9. I knew life was going to be different...  A friend for life. A partner to walk with for the rest of the life....

What I did not know, was that there were lot of bumps, and pot holes along the way, and that I could trip and fall. Or that I could be rebellious, lazy,  and decide to drag or stop or worse turn around!

I was like a proud mule, trying to push, pull my own way for a long time.  And all that I had learnt before marriage was just so 'THEORITICAL'.

So glad God got me a husband who nailed it right in the beginning, that he was no friend, but a husband first. And 2. That I can't behave the same way I do at office. Both  of which shattered by heart and took months/years to get over it. But looking back now and seeing lot of families broken around me, I trust that was THE best hammer that got me down to reality and the beauty of submission. 

So ever thankful and grateful to God, for helping and molding and who united us saying you two shall become one. ! Happy Eighth !

What i love about my husband

Agreed we have been north and south pole. Two entire extremes, who can't stand each other during our initial days... But do you know what I love about him...Here's the list.

1. He is a prayerful guy... Seriously. He stands on his knees all the time since his childhood!,that his knees are calloused!
2. He prays before doing anything else in the morning. On his knees.
3. He prays for nearly an hour in the morning and in the evening. Seriously!
4. He will never, EVER leave the house before reading the Bible. You may have a train or flight to catch. You may have the prime Minister waiting. But you can't rush him.
5. When he's home, he's all home. No gadgets can occupy him. He never uses his phone. He's 100% available. ( Except in thoughts though)
6. He always insists on family prayer morning and evening.. though we do it only in the evening..Thanks to my laziness.
7. Minimum 3 songs have to be sung during family prayer. Bible reading minimum 15 verses. And a long prayer. No matter what time you start. Be it 8pm or 9 or 11.30 or past midnight. You can't go to bed without family prayer.
8. Before hitting bed, he will pray over himself, me and the kids . Every night.. However late.
9. When he's with the kids, he's 100% with them. As if there is no one else on the planet. He lets them climb on him, jump on him, sleep on him.
10. He is a man of integrity. He would never bribe or lie.
11. He will never miss Sunday church. However late.
12. He never takes bath without washing his hair. He doesn't know there's something like that. And he always keeps his hair very short.
13. He climbs 7 stairs everyday to work morning, evening and for lunch break too. Never uses lift.
14. He loves walking.
15.He prays over each room in the house by sprinkling water after praying over it.
16. He encourages me to drive.

Our House - Adventures.

Each room in our so called haunted house, brings back loads of memories. Our pattima (dad's mom's sister) lived with us. Once it was raining and mom took the clothes hanging outside into the house...A snake must have been on the saree, that it fell down. Scared, it may enter the rooms, where we children are, she closed the door. There was no power as well. With all the commotion, we thought it was a thief who entered in. The family residing upstairs, came down too. We opened some doors, which we had permanently closed. Legend says, that one of my brother hid under the cot. Without power, it was difficult to spot the snake. But they found it near the calendar bundles and I think they killed it? My memory is very thin here. Not sure, if it had bitten my pattima, or amma on the big toe.. or was it another story?

I have seen 2 big snakes dancing standing intertwined in the garbage area ( corner of our home). There had been scorpion visits too. When it rains, all these seem to find its way to our house.

I used to walk from the main road to our home every evening. Earlier I used to stay at Ranjan house till my brother brought me in. I remember being stranded in front of our big gate. Tiger the dog, was jumping up and down on the other side. I stood scared for a long time outside.

Tiger was a cross of Alsation. It was purely white. Once a deer had stood near the MCC compound wall and our Tiger had snatched it and brought it in. It was a small deer. It had caught him by his neck and was bleeding. We somehow rescued the deer but he was bleeding and it stopped. The folks upstairs took it away. Don't know where.

I remember me and praveen burying a toad. I guess prem had dissected it, to see the parts and then stitched it back. He had put it in water, to see if it will survive, sadly it didnt. So I guess Praveen decided to give the toad a decent funeral. We put it in a box, burried it and covered it with a plastic glass, mud on it, and a stick cross and a wreath made of grass. No one was crying, so he hit me and I cried. Some tears for the toad! haha..

FOnd memories of pattima, drying her hair-saying 'velavula' The famous world war 3, that occurs often thanks to me, between my eldest and youngest elder brothers. I was a cry baby, and Praveen often pulled my hair or legs and I would cry.. which infuriated my elder brother Prabhu,and they would fight so madly. I remember once, mom was so furious, she locked prabhu in the center room, because the fight was getting out of hand. He was furious for more than an hour, and then we heard him tearing books, papers. We went from the bedroom, to the corridor, to peak into what prabhu was doing. HE was tearing Praveen's school books( the cover alone) sitting there and sulking. We waited even more, till Prabhu got bored and went back to his room. The books were in a mess!

Prabhu used to help me with all the book covering and labelling. He was my album artist for all and every school work. He used to write beautifully. I learnt lot from him.
Praveen had lot of little cars, that he used to play with. Vroom vroom went the cars, up and down the hills( makeshift bedsheets, pillows and stuffs). I had my baby dolls with me near my pillow.

Our house- Rooms

Our haunted house was located in IAF road, East Tambaram. It was on the main road, opposite to the huge MCC campus. Then it had only stringed compound and was pregnable of all animals. This was near the Farm gate, which was later closed permanently. Our house had an automobile workshop at the front, a HUGE wooden gate, which was quite tall for me to open. There was a jains provision store after our house.

The compound housed more than 10-15 huge trees. The shrubs grew everywhere and were knee high. You never know, what lies inside. Could be toads, frogs, snakes or even scorpions. The house was built in yester years, and the windows, doors and the walls were very sturdy, though they were ages old. The hall was huge, it housed nearly 5-6 big bicycles. We used to play paper cricket there. Dad had a room for his own, filled with calendar bundles, esoaps, screen printing tools, drawings,original paintings and loads and loads of books, comics, bibles, in huge big shelves.

'Enter at your own risk' was sketched in bold letters in the next door, which was my brother's room. When you enter, to the left, the entire wall from ceiling to the floor below was covered with posters. The left one had sports folks, all over. Maradona, Steffi Graf, Boris Becker and many many others. To the right, the entire wall is covered with musicians. Michael Jackson, Samantha fox,strypers, acdc. The third wall had posters of birds, animals on the move from national geographic books, weird pictures. The fourth wall had huge windows. The windows also leaked electric power, so we were instructed not to touch it. The window also housed a skull of cat, with some red bulbs on its eye socket. An old guitar was hung from the ceiling, and it housed a speaker I think. The room always had loud heavy music and was scary enough, to enter. This was primarily Prabhu's work,and I peaked in, whenever the boys weren't home.

There was a verandah, which was partitioned by Prem using news paper and home made glue. He had strings and closed the entrance with thick paper, so you cannot see what's going on inside. The way in was through the otherside, where you have to climb the opening, and jump in. Not feasible for the young or the old. Inside, we could peak in to see Horlicks bottle filled with Kerosene, and dangling scorpions and couple of snakes, frogs, cockroaches, and things he could lay hands on. A chart refuting Darwin's monkey to human story can also be seen hanging. This room thanks to the animals on bottle was another scary room of the house.

I also remember that much earlier, the boys had built Ooty with mud. There was waterfall, trees, Beulah park, chrispugg tea estate? prem bus stand?and lot of hair pin bends, and cars, and trucks going up and down the mud hill.

The dining room, had the huge table, weirdly I don't remember sitting and eating there. We did have the small 14 inch TV. Was it there or on the bedroom? Bedroom was huge, we could put 4-5 cots there. None of the rooms had any lofts. So dad had made a makeshift wooden loft to keep the pillows and other things, that hung from the ceiling in the bedroom. The windows were huge and airy. I remember our nick names written on a window sill. Puli, palli. The room between bedroom and kitchen and bedroom, ideal dining room, had the grinder and fridge? The kitchen was huge too.. But its funny, we did not have any water outlet or sink there. The vessels were kept on the floor. Mom made muruku and cookies, sitting on the floor in a kerosene stove. We did have 1 huge shelf. There was a basket hung from the ceiling of the kitchen to keep the onions. We also had the 'ami' the manual grinder used for making chutney, rasam etc( I don't think we owned a mixie or a fridge, did we?)

The bathroom was huge. It was bigger than our bedroom, we sleep now. The only outlet for water was found here and it was tilted, so you have to be careful when you turn it. You had to step inside rectangular block built probably half a feet high to get to the water. NExt to the door was the indian style commode, but it was so huge, enough for a little elephant to sit in. The funny thing was, it had to be climbed up, with 3-4 steps. Opposite to the only bathroom, was the store room, filled with boxes and suitcases of books, clothes, and things. I remember playing Monopoly here.. ( I wonder why we sat there of all the places. The way to these two room, was through a long corridor.I was afraid to go to the toilet at night, as we had a dim light only and it was quite far from bedroom.

There was a big well outside, I remember taking bath there. The kitchen vessels were washed here too. Strangely we did not have any tap here either. So the water has to be drawn out using an iron bucket, pulley and some thick ropes. I loved pulling it, and playing with it. We were never allowed to peek into the well. On the side of the well, we had an olden type pathway built in stones.. probably for water to flow through. Behind the well, were some abandoned rooms, which were so scary to look at. Broken windows, glasses, were there, filled with shrubs and weeds.
The corner of the compound was used to dump garbage. The other opposite corner had kodukapuli tree. At the front, there were trees, and the boys played cricket. Ahh memories! Thankful to God for the beautiful home we lived in.

Jonah

Dad was giving a message, and he had a translator beside him. It was the last day and the entire crowd was listening intently at him. And as he was talking, he felt the Spirit of God talking to him.

That the crowd of people loved God, and were there, wanting God's blessings. They were devout, they would help build a church or support a ministry. But their hearts were so glued on the worldly things and not on what God's heart was on. They made no effort to know. They were like Jonah. They loved God and tried to please God. But they had no concern on Nineveh. The people, who cannot tell their right hand from their left.

What happened next, dad isn't sure, but he knew God spoke directly through him. He remembers saying about being the donkey that Jesus rode on. The donkey is excited to see people placing clothes for him to walk on, the cheers and the loud claps, but fail to hear and feel the burden that Jesus had, as he cried for Jerusalem.

Dad had cried aloud for couple of minutes, and he had closed the the message sharp at 8.30, he said he got down the stage, and went back to a secluded place and sat down. The touch of God was so heavy, that he needed some air. Many elders who had been praying for a revival, came backstage to see him.

Aleela

Dad just got back from Vizag. It was a 4 day program with mission expo as well. On the last day of the program, they had just enacted the story of Aleela. A young educated mother, whose husband was in the deathbed in hospital. Doctors had given up hope and Aleela was broken, early morning, she took her young baby in her arms, and went to Ganges in Allahabad. She was upto her hip deep in the water. She cried and asked the gods for favor on her husband, and take her child instead. She let the baby go in the water. Crying and beating her chest, she was still in the waters, when a man called Varghese, spots her and asks what the matter was. She tells him. Varghese then proceeds to tell about Christ, and that He can save her husband from all illness. Hearing the truth, she asks, why didn't he tell this good news earlier?

Calm assurance!

"A man can receive only what is given him from heaven."
This verse was oft quoted by my friend's father in law. As she was sharing her experience, I thought she was quoting from James. That every good and  perfect gift is from God. We did a quick search, and finally she found it was in John 3:27

What an assurance! One can receive only what is given from heaven. Whatever situation we are in, we can be rest assured, He will see us through.

First thought comes about spouse, parents, promotion, situation we feel we are thrust in ( not the bad choices we make!)

What a relief. And what peace and rest we have in Him!

2015 floods

After thoughts #chennaifloods

Past week had been gruesome for those in Chennai. As someone stated in fb, the reality of having everything and yet nothing was a nightmare.
You have a high end phone, but no charge nor any signal
You have a house, but can't stay- as it is flooded
You have a car, but its jammed.
You have money in the bank, but no functioning ATM to draw cash.
A black out for days together- and no candle in the stores, no water in the lu, no milk, with vegetables in the refrigerator stinking, water in the ground floor, and some had it till first floor. Losing documents, beds, all electronic stuffs. For those in high rise buildings, no elevators. Imagine having a sick child, or an elderly at home?!
And above all the fear of losing a loved one in the rains.

Speaking to friends at work, I realize there had been some extraordinary moments on December 1, 2 at office. I am jotting them down, tired of asking them to write.

- Complete strangers, have accomodated Infoscions in their homes.
- Gave them dry warm clothes to wear, fed them with food, and a place to sleep.
- Strangers have given lift for Infoscions to reach Guduvanchery/Vandaloor, free of cost. ( Some did take exorbitant amount)
- Some stayed in Churches, some in Mosques
- Some stayed in SRM University classrooms

With phones switched off/no signal to contact their families, a total blackout, completely drenched and shivering in the cold rains, with feet sore walking on water for hours together, I can't imagine the ordeal they went through.

The next day wasn't better either. Getting back to their homes have been a struggle, where each Infoscion had been on their own, and taken their own decision, to reach home, by walk, bus, or own transport. Those who ventured back to office, had more difficulty ( No power/no water/no money in ATM in the DC)and reached their home only on Thursday!

I don’t want to blame, but what could have been done is
- The situation of the nearby lakes, could have been checked and declared holiday on that D day.
- When there was water on the campus –the decision to stop further buses- re-route/cancel shuttles to office could have been done.
- The Bus Drivers could have been informed, to take the buses directly to SRM.
- The train information sent by SMS, misled many. Most were stranded. The trains did not ply after 6.

Some notable points
- Most affected where married Infoscions- who try to get early to office and get out early.
- Some have checked the board in the morning and have started from home, inspite of the rain, to complete their work.
- Men in the bus, were slow to make decisions or lead or even help. Most of the women folks- have ventured out into the rain or walked across, in an attempt to get back to their homes and children.
- The campus was cleaned thanks to the housekeeping and facilities, and making it operational on Monday. I can’t imagine the amount of work involved. ( to know that the housekeeping staffs worked, to clean our campus, when their own homes were flooded and devastated)
- Few got a call from Mysore Infosys, asking about the well being/safety of the individual. ( I got it on Dec 6)

#chennairains, #bcms, #mcity collapse

Lesson from a senior

Was talking to a very senior person at work. He being a believer was sharing how much having a mentor in your life is so important to guide and teach in anyone's life.

Back in the early 90s, when he was in college, he happened to be in library and finish taking notes. He left the library around 6.30 PM and at about the same time a girl from another department also happened to leave the library.  Since their hostels were nearby they walked together talking.

Just when he reached his hostel, his guide called him to have a word with him. What transpired then, has been imbibed and lived upon for all these years. The guide said, you as a christian, a sports player, someone who had shared the testimony, someone who's looked upon, ought to live an exemplary life. It may have been a casual talk, but remember the only person whom you can walk alone or have coffee alone  is your wife.

Years later, he recollected the incident when he was at the Billy Graham museum. He always leaves the door open when he's talking with a lady.

This generation, might find it awkward. "What does a harmless, casual talk have to do. I know and God knows and isn't that enough?"  Not really. Eyes are watching and more than that, our heart is wicked " Jer 17:9 ⁹The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it? " and  we are asked to guard it! Prov 4:23" Above all else, guard your heart" however  we could!

And in this age of unlimited internet access, when one can watch, meet, do and experience ANY thing, without ANYONE knowing, even with a parent or spouse sitting next to you, yes it is important to guard your heart. Be holy as I am holy. 1 Peter 1:16

Lesson from a hike.

I was so sure I had written this story years back...But unable to find it and hence penning it again.

These were years ago, when there was no roads to the mission fields and they had to walk across the jungle to reach the remote villages.

Dad was escorted by a local missionary and as they climbed, they stopped to get some breath. Dad spotted a beautiful jack tree with ripe fruits at arms distance and was surprised nobody had picked the fruits so easy to grab. Hugru as they were, he and his other friends immediately got a fruit down. The missionary did not comment anything and dad proceeded to clean and eat the first bite.

But the moment his lips touched it , he spit it out at the same speed. The ripe fruit was so bitter. Confused, he looked at the missionary who looked so amused! The missionary grabbed dad's hand and took him near the jack tree and pointed up to its branches...And there at one crevice of the same was a nice strong neem tree. 

A neem tree on a jack tree! Some crow must have pooped the neem tree on the crevice and that had indeed grown. The roots of the bitter neem tree had found its way into all of jack tree and all TS fruits remain bitter.

Dad narrated this with a laugh and taught us a valuable lesson. No matter how nice and clean and fruitful you are in Christ, if you let one small seed of bitterness in you, you can be rest assured that you'll turn all your fruits into a  bitter one.

Bursting forth

The GST stretch from tambaram to chengelpet is lined up with trees. Though many trees have been chopped down for widening the roads, and many had fell during the cyclones hit back to back in the past, it still brightens up the road with shade and cool air.

Past 2 months have been hot. Summer had started quite early and the humidity is high even as early 7 AM. The face of anyone traveling by road can witness the heat , humidity. But yet what's amazing is to see the trees seem to enjoy the weather. Almost most of the trees have bright green leaves. New leaves inspite of dry ground. The trees have a strange magical shine on them...Like as if they took oil bath? There are trees that are in full bloom. Pretty yellow flowers covering up the trees, pink flowers adorning other tree's, or just the bright green shining in the morning sun. To know they bear the heat all day and feel refreshed to smile!

You may say, come on it's spring season, time for trees to get their new leaves out! But still this heat, this humidity and what a brave face they put on , without brooding about the summer starting quite early or the water that's depleting!

Hope I do to... In the intense stress, pressure and heat of life, that I take time to enjoy the present that God has given me, and be the best I can be shining for his glory!

Amy3

For someone who thought I would never have a baby to having 2 was  no less a miracle. My husband being obsessed with a baby boy, led me to 'want' a baby girl. And God answered both my prayers. 

My husband's desire to be blessed like Jacob to have a large family was ridiculous to me. He had 4 wives. Go get yours was my anger. I have even blurted it out to my mil on the day my lil girl 2 was born.

Though the major fight we had in our marriage was related to the boy thing, God changed my husband and he was a loving father and husband to my girls and me. The girls adore him. I was happy we didn't separate or live as single mom as I thought my world would be.

He still wanted a boy.And third was ridiculous. Isn't it. So I prayed to change his heart. Then I knew it was me in steering wheel.so I prayed, Lord change him or me. As days went, I happened to meet lot of 3 kids mothers. I was like what's this Lord. You are supposed to give friends to my husband and convince him that 2 itself is hard. 
My daughter's classmates 3 of them had 2 siblings. My fellowship folks 5 of them.had 3 kids. School friends 2 of them.

Then I said OK Lord I give in. Knowing my body I know it was a miracle with the first two. So if you really really want me, give me and the strength to carry it. And so I conceived. But unfortunately in 7-8 weeks there was no heartbeat and i ended up miscarrying. It was heartbreaking. I knew I couldn't ask why, but I was sure he knows best. So then I thought my guy will leave me alone. Looking at how I suffered and how my body was beyond recovery.

It seemed ridiculous to everyone around me. Friends , family. We had two kids..life seemed back to normal. But my guy wasn't done yet. So I was back to the same prayer, as all my arguments ended up, in him answering, don't you trust God? ! I do! But. There was no but.

We also had nearly 30+ girls in our fellowship group waiting on their baby...My request list was increasing..and seeing them waiting for so long , for years together was discouraging... And I was regularly praying for few daily. I know a baby forming is not just a wish of a wife or husband...nor the doctors or medicines or any treatment...it is a gift from God. It is a miracle, how all things come together at the perfect time and bring it to life...How life is sustained in the uterus...and how each organ is formed and the heart beats...the tiny fingers, toes, brain, stomach, eyes , nose, mouth, stomach, lungs...

So I surrendered myself to God...if it's your will, you better give me the strength that's needed. I don't want to fight over it with my husband. I can't be praying for my friends, when I have a rebellious spirit with my husband. And God gave me peace over it. Over all the ridiculous stare and exclamation over our 'third'

So here I am after 18 months later, with a lovely baby. I am 38 and God made it possible! It was an easy thing in the eyes of our God.  And he has blessed us with a baby  girl! And my husband now enjoys  being around with  the trio. So i know for sure God has a plan for our third. And also that there is nothing impossible for God.

Saved again

This is the third incident since a month.
The second was when I slowed down to let a lorry cross me and his tail end, hit my bumper in front. There was a loud noise. In the heavy traffic, was unable to stop anywhere, and by God's grace, no harm to us or much for the car.

This sunday, it was about 9.30 PM. I had both the girls in the front car seat. Giggling and dancing, they were poking at all the buttons on the dashboard. I quickly turned of the engine and took the key, afraid they might meddle some more. I got down to lock the gate, and came to find the girls jarring on the car horn. I chided them and raised my voice and that made them scoot. I was angry that they were not helpful, their bag, shoes, water bottle was on the floor. I knelt to pick them up, and went to the back seat to grab my bag. That's when the car moved.

Shocked I quickly got down, but the car was moving. Unable to comprehend, was even more surprised to see the car going down the ramp and hitting the iron gate. The gate gave way and it was going down hill. I was dragged along with the car, as the back seat car was open. The car gained speed, going down the ramp, and God somehow pushed me away from the door and the path of the car. I had to run, but once I was away, I could turn and see the car in reverse going in good speed, crossing the road and hitting the neighbor's wall with a loud thud. BANG BANG. It was so loud, I could see people looking out of the windows, lights turned on and people from my apt coming down the stairs, to see what the noise was all about. I was shocked. I was angry at the girls. I drove the car back to the parking, and then looked what happened to the car. The bumper behind was all crushed and turned outside.

Since we don't have much space, the car stands on the whim of the ramp. Amy says she touched the hand brake and that Andrea stood on it. Given the safety feature on hand brake, it isnt easy to get it down, unless Amy had played with the button and pulled up and Andrea walked over it. Whatever it be, it was God who guarded the girls from being out of the way and me from falling down and from keeping anyone being hit on the road. I shudder to think what could have happened.

Under his wings we take refuge. Thank you Lord!

Finger Prayer Points

When there was a hurricane in my life, I drifted slowly away from God. But God placed few people in my life, who helped me see what I was missing. My anchor was again Christ, and I was rooted. But I knew I had to pray for my spouse, but I did not know where to start. I even downloaded few things from the net to start with..but wasn't consistent. I forgot midway. But somehow, God taught me to make a customary prayer, just for my guy. So this is my 10 finger prayer point. I extended it for me first now, and it had been a revolution in my life.

Use your fingers, and make your own.. mine is like this!First pray for self and then for your spouse!

1. To relish God's love truly ( the height, breadth and width of it!)
2. To have hunger and thirst for God, and be transformed by the renewing of my/his mind by the Holy Spirit
3. To thank and pray for my/his health
4. To pray for his/my job- For his guidance, integrity and excellence
5. To pray for his/my friends.. Godly mentors at workplace. Specific friends- name them. Buddy and others'
The next ones- are very specific - to areas where you need help.
6. His anger. My selfishness
7. His forgiveness/forgetfulness. My pride.
8. His joy/thankful attitude. No lamentations. My Giving.
9. His ministry- what God has called him to be.
10. To bring out his talent.


I've been praying this daily for more than 4 years now, and my first 2 points have grown into 3 fold-Throne room worshiping the Father, remembering Christ on the Cross( batptism & communion) and be filled in His presence, and the dressing room- Armor of God, and taking a dip in God's ocean of love....

Praise be to God! I've seen God work beautifully in my life and my guy's life, in specific areas of ( 6-8) and delivered us from the struggle! ( explained in another blog)Try it, he lives!

Throne room

It all started when we were doing the Bible study on Revelations in the Shockers Wives group. The awesomeness of the throne room depiction was so amazing.. I remember asking dad what he does after prayer. He seems to be quiet, eyes closed for awhile. He said that, he imagines himself prostrating before the God of heavens.

and the concept of going into throne room was exceptional( Rev 4). To be in the presence of the God who made the heavens and the earth, the galaxies,cosmos, the the alpha and omega, the one who knows the end from the beginning! The all sufficient grace, the everlasting love, the loving kindness! So you naturally fall down, and worship the King of Kings, the Creator. Rev 4 is awesome. Throne surrounded by Rainbow, Thunder and Lightning coming from his mouth, a sea of crystal before the throne. 4 creatures falling down and worshiping. 24 elders in white fall prostrate before the throne put the crowns before them. Would you dare enter this? His glory and majesty filling the place, when you hear 'Holy, Holy Holy is the Lord Almighty'. We can't stand before him, much less fall down prostrate,nor can you even lift up your eyes to see His glory, .. For our righteousness is like filthy rags ( Isa 64:6), Dirty smelly, full of wicked thoughts and deeds and so you go to the next phase ( Rev 5).

But the ever-lasting father, out of his love for us, sent us His only son Jesus, who takes on our punishment on the cross. So 'I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. Gal 2:20. SO Beulah is dead. Dead to sin. Alive in Christ. Alive by the power of the resurrected Christ, and what's more, I am seated with Christ in the heavenly places (Eph 2:6)Now isn't that something. Your position changes, and all you can do is bask in His presence. You are God's child. Inheritance. Your citizenship is heaven! You take the body of Christ, broken for you, the blood of Christ poured out for you, You are one in Christ! What a privilege! Baptism and Communion! That takes you to the next phase ( Eph 5:18)

Be filled with the Spirit! HE dwells in us! Romans 8:9. Dwells not in palaces, or in heavens, but he dwells in us! So I ask him to fill me in all the areas of my life, office, home, with different people. In all the pockets, where I have selfishness, anger, pain,fear, worry, and as he fills me, all the dirt goes away! Like an empty vessel, being filled. That people see Him, instead of me. He fills me with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, selfcontrol. Like a sponge I pray that I absorb them in his presence, that when I am squeezed by the troubles of the day, I emit fragrance of the fruit of the spirit and not the stench of my old self. I ask him to be the Lord of my life. On my throne.

and then I go to the dressing room. Read it here.

Wearing the armor!

Imagine walking with a friend, and suddenly he/she trips and falls down. What will you do? Walk on? You stop and help them up... This is the image, God taught me. As a family, as husband and wife, you both are walking, and what if he falls, will you complain, grumble and keep walking or help him up?

Believe it or not, we are in a spiritual battle daily. The attacks are real. May not be life threatening, but you have daily attacks. You worry, you fear, you regret, you lament, you are disappointed, you are confused, you are impatient, you are angry.. and what not.

So during my Quiet time, and after I've been to throne room.. I go to the dressing room.. to get dressed with the armor of God.

Lord, I wear the Helmet of Salvation, I remember by your blood I've been made clean. I take captive every thought and make it obedient to you. All thoughts of fear, worries are blocked from my head. By your blood I am cleansed and so fill my thoughts with praise and thanksgiving.
I pray that I hold on to the Shield of Faith. When life throws googly at me, I don't waver, I don't doubt, but stand firm on the faith I have in you.
I pray that I use the Sword, which is the word of God. Remind me of your verse, help me to put into practice daily.
Wearing the Breastplate of Righteousness, I pray that I will remember it is only because of Christ's righteousness I stand, and not because of me. Help me to clothed in humility and be a servant leader.
As I wear the Belt of Truth, let me remember that you are truth, and that I will represent you in my life.
Wearing my shoes, let me be ready anytime, to boldly tell the Gospel of Peace, in season or out. Give me the right time, right place, right words, and seize the opportunity at all times.

Do you know what your spouse is going through? The struggle is real. The fear, confusion, the pressure, the loss, the stress on a day to day basis, the worry, regret,the pain. What can you do for that? You don't need to feel helpless!

The beautiful thing the Bible talks about family, way up in Genesis 2 is that they are ONE FLESH.. So that means, you can pray for your spouse, as for your own body!

Now, once I am done wearing it, I pray the exact same thing all over my husband. My guy is quite tall, and wow, what a soldier he would make, with all the shining armor! All 6 of them.

So we stand back to back in the thick of the battle. And I know if one of us falls down, we can lift each other up. The beauty of the armor is all 6 of it is God himself. Salvation, Word, Truth, Gospel, Righteousness, even faith heb 12:2! There is nothing required of us, except to use them and stand! Daily. And what a relief it is!, once you wear and make your husband wear. No matter if he's overseas, or in terrible situation, or worried or troubled, you can't preach to him, or change him in anyway, but you can just pray over him/her with the armor, and sleep as a baby in the arms of Jesus!

and here's by 2010 blog on the same subject.. tips to memorise easily !

Rescued from disaster

We were on the way home from East Tambaram on Sunday night around 9 PM. Amy was in the back seat and Andrea was goofing around in the front seat. They just had a fight with the two papers that Amy had colored. Amy was afraid that Andrea will throw the paper out of the window. So with her screaming, I closed Andrea's passenger window, and then turned on the AC midway.

Just as I was nearing the MCC College Signal, Amy said, 'Mom! Look the door is open!'. My heart skipped a beat, as I saw the door opening and dangling. I crouched and grabbed Andrea's arm. The vehicles were going past, and I could see people's astounded face in bike, and auto- saying, look car door is open and a kid inside. My stomach churned. I had to shift gear and slow down, move to the last lane, and stop the car, before being hit. And before Andrea goes out of the door.

I can only say, God saved us from death. Somehow I slowed down, and moved to the left lane and stopped. By then a guy in a bike, kicked and slammed the door shut. I am just thankful for guarding us that night. Saving us from impending disaster. I can't imagine the 'what if' she hung on the door.. what if she fell.. what if a vehicle hit the open door..God protected us and saved us.
For he will command his angels concerning you, to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands,
so that you will not strike your foot against a stone. Psalms 91:11

A thankful heart

Its easy to be thankful when things are going smoothly. But when things are pretty rough, there is no end to the pain or struggle, we seem to get drowned in the sea of distress

One of my many favorite Petra songs, that speaks to my soul anytime, is 'Thankful Heart'. What strikes me most, is the line that says, 'I have a thankful heart that You have given me And it can only come from You'.

So when I have trouble looking for what to be thankful for, I ask God, to give me a thankful heart- that only he can give, and then he opens my eyes, to see all the treasures I have! Life after death, a family, eyes, nose, heart, functioning fingers, toes, arms, limbs, family and so much more. Jotting down in a paper helps me everytime.

Out of a thankful, grateful heart, what bursts out? fear, anxiety?? NO!! Praise! Love, Joy! and all the fruits of the Spirit! No wonder, Psalmist tells about, entering the gates with thanksgiving and courts with praise! Psalms 100:4. You can't enter the throne room without that. I have made a habit now, to start my Quiet time, with just that! and it so kick starts any day!

With Jesus as our head, we have so much to be thankful about. His everlasting love, loving kindness, His compassion, His sufficient grace, and every spiritual blessings in Christ Eph 1:3!! Oh boy, isn't that something!?

In or out

Last night, during family prayer, we were singing a song written by Prince uncle and Dad reminicient of his old days, said he was Maths teacher from sriviliputhur. There was a collector, who encouraged lot of teachers, to join him to visit the villages. His name was Ranjith Periyanayagam.

He being a collector, was well received by the villagers, and they surrounded him and listened to him intently.
Dad said, he learnt 4 important learnings from him.

1.While riding the cycle, the collector told him about the game rule in badminton.. Of how when the ball falls on the line, it is considered as out.

Thus in our life, if you wonder if its right or wrong, and if its on the line, remember that it is an Out. Never doubt about that.

His office was in 1st floor. Everyday at around 11 AM, he would look out his window, and look for any one waiting in the collector office. Those who are pushed back or denied entry. He would slowly go there, and ask his whereabouts and then take him, and kindly share the gospel with them. Later when he comes to his desk, he makes sure, the petition from that person, is moved further.

Once, he was asked to collect around 1 lakhs for some saving scheme during mg. Ram period. He gave over that work to PW person. He had invited movie stars for a dance cultural program, and invited the collector to preside over it. Unaware he had been there, and there were dances in a very weird manner. Before he could realise, 2,3 songs and dances were complete. SLowly the collector turned back from stage and left the venue in a rickshaw. As he neared his home, he heard cries inside. Rushing in, he found that his 22 year healthy son, was dead suddenly.

2. The collector told dad, Neethar, 'kadavul, ungal mela romba piriyama irikirar. He is very fond of me too. And when we are so special, if we do a dumb mistake, God cannot bear it. He will immediately teach you and bring you back. So be watchful.' The collector was heart broken, when he shared this.

Andrea's gimmicks

Bad that I haven't penned anything that Andrea did.
Andrea speaks a lot since going to preschool. She can say 1-100, say her ABCs, tell words pointing to her picture Alpha book, vegetables, colors, shapes, animals... quite a lot.. even write A, B and C.

Her babbles are so adorable.. here are few words that she uses.

Amykaaa ... loves the way she calls her sister at times.
Doctor phone pakka nanna solli.
Shiny mam, solli?
Adichiduvaen Amy.
Amy adichi.
Mummy, appa, vaanga.
Mummy susu.
Amy, Amy bad girl, Andrea Andrea Good girl.
Mummy good girl, Daddy good boy. Andrea good girl, Amy bad.
Thatha enga?
Daddy office. Mummy office. Amy School. Andrea School.
Naan school poi vandhachu.
Mummy surprise?
Daddy kita maati
Mummy kita solli
Daddy romba chaetai panni.

Me: Who pushed the chair down? Andy: Amy.

Her tantrums for
Surprise: She drags my office bad, and opens it to look for any surprise.
Chocolate: Mummy chocolate(2) please,... Kaila vachi...
To be held: Mummy thooki.
Phone: Mummy phone (3)
Amy: Mummy Amy kili.


She can say the following verses:
Karthavae sollum adiyaen kaetkiraen
Jesus Christ is the same yesterday today and forever.
My grace is sufficient for you.
Give and it shall be given to you.
The Lord is my Shepherd I shall not want. HE makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me in the path of righteousness. He restores my soul.
Kartharai nan ekalathilum sthotharipaen. Avar thuthi epodum en vayilirukum. Kartharulul en aathuma, maenmai paraatum, sirumaipatavargal, athai kaetu magilvargal.

Songs she loves
Manithan yar endhu ulagil yarukum theriyadhu.
singa kutigal patini kidakum.
Jeevikirar, yesu jeevikirar,